{"id":918,"date":"2014-04-19T01:41:27","date_gmt":"2014-04-19T05:41:27","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/motivatedtomarry.com\/stage\/?p=918"},"modified":"2014-05-15T10:25:47","modified_gmt":"2014-05-15T14:25:47","slug":"what-are-the-dating-rules-now-who-pays-on-a-date","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/motivatedtomarry.com\/stage\/what-are-the-dating-rules-now-who-pays-on-a-date\/","title":{"rendered":"What are the dating rules now? Who pays on a date?"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a>As a dating and relationship coach, the question about who pays on a date usually comes up often- especially with two professionals who are both earning a decent salary or income.<\/p>\n

The rule is the person who asks is the one who pays on a date. This hasn\u2019t changed in modern times. If a couple has met online, then for the first meeting, each person should expect to pay their own way. However, for the first greet and meet, it\u2019s usually for coffee or something low cost. However, in this circumstance it is nice if the guy offers to pay and it will make him look more generous.<\/p>\n

Then, after that, the person who asks is the one who pays on a date. I coached a 30 something woman whose boyfriend and her had similar jobs as software developers and earned similar salaries. Her boyfriend would ask her out and pay for dinner. They usually ended up back at her place and watched a movie on TV (Seriously, he was a perfect gentleman!). She finally got up the nerve to ask why they never went out to a concert or theatre after dinner. He said, \u201cIf you are willing to pitch in, we could do more\u201d. At that point in time she had a choice to either go along to contribute or to be upset and leave the relationship. In the coaching I pointed out that she has a strong value around equal partnership, so why wouldn\u2019t that go for financial contribution, as well? She really liked this guy and she agreed to pitch in. After that, the relationship was smooth sailing! They are now married.<\/p>\n

I believe who pays on a date depends on each person\u2019s relative incomes and personal expectations that come into play here. Today I see professional women who do want to pitch in and cover a share of the dating expenses. Those women who are more traditional expect the men to pay for most things. However, there needs to be some reciprocation (It\u2019s not what you think!) She can offer to cook him dinner or buy the popcorn at the movies or she may even buy him gifts.<\/p>\n

I did have a client who was paying for most of the dates. He didn\u2019t mind that. What he did mind was that she never reciprocated by cooking him a meal, or offering to pay for part of the date. It seemed lopsided and he felt like he was being taken advantage of. The real kicker was when his girlfriend went to London for a trip and she didn\u2019t even bring him back anything- not even a \u201cKeep Calm\u201d mug!<\/p>\n

It all comes down to expectations and circumstances. One of my male clients lost his job and is now starting his own company. He is very much interested in finding a life partner and he needs to conserve his capital. He needs to find an understanding woman who is okay with nearly free events for dates. In this situation it would be okay if the woman bought tickets to a show and he cooked dinner before hand or brought a picnic to enjoy if the weather is nice. There are times that we all have to tighten up our belts so this is a real test of how someone will be in tough times.<\/p>\n

What are your expectations around who pays for a date? What has been your experience in dating? Does your age group affect your expectations? This curious coach would like to know!<\/p>\n

Intentionally yours,<\/p>\n

Coach Amy<\/p>\n

P.S. Get answers to this and other dating questions in our Motivated to Marry Dating Secrets Coaching Club. www.MotivatedtoMarryDatingSecrets.com<\/a>. I will answer your questions personally in our twice a month Question and Answer support calls and in our private-secret Facebook group.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

As a dating and relationship coach, the question about who pays on a date usually comes up often- especially with two professionals who are both earning a decent salary or income. The rule is the person who asks is the one who pays on a date. This hasn\u2019t changed in modern times. If a couple […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[152],"tags":[224,325,269,270],"yoast_head":"\nWhat are the dating rules now? 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