{"id":743,"date":"2013-06-22T22:18:28","date_gmt":"2013-06-23T02:18:28","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/motivatedtomarry.com\/stage\/?p=743"},"modified":"2013-06-24T01:37:31","modified_gmt":"2013-06-24T05:37:31","slug":"how-to-take-the-frustration-and-confusion-out-of-dating-for-marriage","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/motivatedtomarry.com\/stage\/how-to-take-the-frustration-and-confusion-out-of-dating-for-marriage\/","title":{"rendered":"How to take the frustration and confusion out of dating for marriage"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a>I got an email from a woman in my meetup group and she writes,<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m a marriage minded single woman in my late 30\u2019s that is having a hard time with dating for marriage!\u00a0 I am very frustrated.\u00a0 I don\u2019t seem to know the answers to all the do\u2019s and don\u2019ts.\u00a0 Do you tell men upfront that you want to get married?\u00a0 Do you ever call them?\u00a0 It seems like men play so many games.\u00a0 And, once they get your attention, they tend to run away.\u00a0 What is your advice?\u201d This is a very common theme from my clients and the singles I talk to.\u00a0 My answer to her is this:<\/p>\n

No one has all the answers and I don\u2019t recommend you be someone that you are not. \u00a0I do suggest that you be your authentic self.\u00a0 The right person will respond positively to you and the wrong ones will self select themselves out of your life.\u00a0\u00a0 Not everyone is going to be your cup of tea and visa versa.<\/p>\n

Dating for marriage is a process where you need to be willing to spend the time to explore and get to know someone to see if you are a good fit.\u00a0 I teach there are three basic things you need to line up with a life partner:<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. Your relationship values need to be aligned.<\/li>\n
  2. Your life goals need to be the same and you need to want the same things out of life.<\/li>\n
  3. Your Must Haves has to be present in the relationship where you don\u2019t see any of your deal breakers.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    It takes time to really get to know someone and you have to be a detective where you are looking for the clues to all the above.\u00a0 Life goals are the easiest to discover because you can just ask, \u201cWhat goals have you set for yourself in the next 2 to 5 years?\u201d\u00a0 And then, you can share after your date answers the above question, \u201cI see myself married (again) (with a family)\u201d.\u00a0 You fill in the blanks here.\u00a0 If your goals are not similar, then it\u2019s for the best that you not continue the relationship (or \u201crun away\u201d to use your words).<\/p>\n

    If your date says, \u201cI don\u2019t know\u201d, then he is either living day to day which is not good for a Motivated to Marry\u00ae woman or he is not willing to share this with you, which is also a red flag.\u00a0 I would look for someone who is clear about their goals and open enough to share them with you.<\/p>\n

    I recommend when you are dating for marriage you have this conversation within a month of meeting someone and when you start seeing some chemistry and that the relationship has potential.\u00a0\u00a0 I waited 3 months with one fellow before I had the conversation about my goal to get married and have a child.\u00a0 We were really getting along well.\u00a0 Then I found out he did not want more children, after raising 4 kids \u2013 which I didn\u2019t know that fact since he told me he had 2 kids originally (his ex came with two young children).\u00a0 Given my goal to have my own child, I had to make that difficult decision to leave that relationship.<\/p>\n

    When I met my husband Alan, I was 41 and really Motivated to Marry\u00ae \u00a0an wanted to have a family.\u00a0 I fine-tuned my dating for marriage approach to having that conversation within a month of meeting someone.\u00a0 My philosophy was if the guy runs, let him!<\/p>\n

    When I mentioned my goal of wanting to get married and have a family, Alan said, \u201cMe too!\u201d Then I knew this relationship had potential and continued to date him.<\/p>\n

    In a healthy, relationship that is a partnership, playing games are not an issue.\u00a0 You can call up a guy.\u00a0 I had a client who enjoyed a date and did call the guy up again to say,\u201d I enjoyed our date, thank you.\u00a0 I would like to see you again\u201d.\u00a0 This man was not in the best place in his life and didn\u2019t follow up with her first.\u00a0 They did go out again, and now they are married!<\/p>\n

    There are some do\u2019s and don\u2019ts that I do share with my clients in my coaching programs, however, bottom line is that special someone has to accept you for you and appreciate who you are-the good and the bad!\u00a0 It\u2019s best to find a man who is open to getting to know the real you and who shares your relationship values and life goals.\u00a0\u00a0 Stay true to yourself, stay the course and you will eventually find true love!<\/p>\n

    Intentionally yours,<\/p>\n

    Coach Amy<\/p>\n

    PS.\u00a0 If you want to discover how to be dating for marriage (or a seriously, committed relationship), then go to http:\/\/www.MotivatedtoMarry.com<\/a> and grab my free e-course, \u201c7 Steps to Finding Your True Love Partner\u201d.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    \u201cI\u2019m a marriage minded single woman in my late 30\u2019s that is having a hard time with dating for marriage! I am very frustrated.” I don\u2019t seem to know the answers to all the do\u2019s and don\u2019ts.”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[10],"tags":[212],"yoast_head":"\nHow to take the frustration and confusion out of dating for marriage - Motivated to Marry<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/motivatedtomarry.com\/stage\/how-to-take-the-frustration-and-confusion-out-of-dating-for-marriage\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"How to take the frustration and confusion out of dating for marriage\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"\u201cI\u2019m a marriage minded single woman in my late 30\u2019s that is having a hard time with dating for marriage! 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