![\"Woman](\"https:\/\/motivatedtomarry.com\/stage\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/03\/how-to-find-a-committed-relationship.jpg\")
<\/a><\/p>\nYou may, however, have subconscious expectations about finding true love<\/a> in fairytale or Hollywood-fantasy ways.<\/p>\n Be beautiful, and he will see me from across the room. Be rich and successful, and I can have any woman I want.<\/em><\/p>\n Whatever kind of magical thinking you may have tucked away from childhood and too much media exposure, that\u2019s not how relationships work.<\/p>\n It\u2019s also not how dating works.<\/p>\n I\u2019ve been a dating and relationship coach since the year America fell in love with the story of Allie and Noah in The Notebook<\/em><\/a>.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n In other words, a long time.<\/p>\n And, in the course of all those years and hundreds of clients, I\u2019ve seen certain themes and truisms pop up and play out repeatedly.<\/p>\n My job is to teach clients how to find a committed relationship and guide them through the process.<\/p>\n So, when I hear an attractive person who has a lot to offer a relationship say s\/he can’t meet someone s\/he\u2019s interested in?<\/p>\n Well, I don\u2019t buy it. I know there\u2019s more to the predicament than that.<\/p>\n That\u2019s when I start digging deeper. What is this person really telling me?<\/p>\n The truth that usually comes out? One reason is this person isn\u2019t putting the time and effort into dating.<\/em><\/p>\n As you know, anything that’s worthwhile takes time and energy. We have to give our attention to what we truly want.<\/em><\/p>\n Here\u2019s a classic example that involves a former client (we\u2019ll call her Lauren):<\/p>\n Lauren was 38 years old when she came to me. She was a professional with a good career working for the government.<\/p>\n Fortunately, she had a standard 40-hour work week.<\/p>\n However, she also had a side-hustle yoga business that took up her time on evenings and weekends.<\/p>\n As you might guess, her primary contact was with women.<\/p>\n Lauren said <\/em>she was marriage-minded<\/a> and wanted a husband and family. But here she was, 38-years-old and sworn to two jobs practically seven days a week.<\/p>\n “When do you have time for a man in your life?” I asked her.<\/p>\n I reminded her that she had come to me to learn how to find a committed relationship. So she needed to be willing to look at her goals in the context of her life (and vice versa) and make some changes.<\/p>\n Through the coaching, she began to see she needed to carve out time for dating and make dating more of a priority in her life.<\/p>\n Now was the time to put attention on dating and finding a marriage partner, especially if she wanted her own biological children.<\/p>\n Do you recognize yourself in Lauren\u2019s story?<\/p>\n You can say <\/em>you want to meet someone. But what are you doing about it?<\/span><\/p>\n Are you putting the time into meeting someone? Are you showing someone you have time for a relationship?<\/p>\n Do you complain to your friends and family that there are no good men (or women) to date?<\/p>\n Would you rather chill and watch Netflix than get online and reach out to potential partners?<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n Dating may be the build-up to a relationship, but it\u2019s also where you show someone you\u2019re interested in how you would be in a relationship.<\/p>\n If you don\u2019t make time for dating now, what\u2019s the likelihood you will suddenly make time for a relationship (or marriage)?<\/p>\n If you don\u2019t put forth the effort to work on yourself and your relationship\/communication skills, what will you have to offer a lifelong commitment?<\/p>\n My husband and I met and went on one <\/em>date five years before we seriously connected.<\/p>\n He assumed I didn’t have time for him, and he never asked me out on a second date.<\/p>\n What are you <\/em>really telling potential partners? Are you so busy that they assume you don’t have time for them? Unfortunately, my theme song is \u201cI have so much to do!\u201d<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n Do you have to do everything else before you have time to date online, check out singles events, and find ways to broaden your social network?<\/p>\n Do you tell yourself, “I’ll do it later?” or “I’ll start dating next month or this summer or next fall?”<\/p>\n Are you signing up for yet another trip, activity, or class that isn’t geared primarily for singles?<\/p>\n And how do these activities, trips, and classes impact your time for dating? Will they cause you to be less available when you do meet someone?<\/p>\n Is there a chance that you\u2019re subconsciously sabotaging yourself with busy-ness? (If you\u2019re too busy to date, you don\u2019t have to worry about rejection\u2026or about the responsibility that goes along with a relationship.)<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n Dogs aren\u2019t the only ones who can smell fear. I\u2019ve been coaching for so long that I recognize it immediately in my clients.<\/p>\n Fear causes them to make excuses for not dating.<\/p>\n They’re afraid of losing their autonomy and independence.<\/p>\n They fear losing their personal time.<\/p>\n Or they want to avoid rejection.<\/p>\n So they find reasons not to be putting their efforts into dating. And they end up sabotaging themselves and becoming their own worst enemies.<\/p>\n We all know that nothing ventured is nothing gained. If you don’t take risks, you don’t know what’s possible.<\/p>\n Part of the process of teaching clients how to find a committed relationship is helping them to feel more in control.<\/p>\n I challenge their thinking with regard to dating and relationships, because they need to face their fears head-on and decide who\u2019s going to be in charge.<\/p>\n “How can you be in relationship and still have your independence or the ability to make decisions for yourself?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n “How can you still have time for yourself and for those you care about?”<\/em><\/p>\n In essence, what I’m really asking them is, “What kind of relationship would you have to design with your partner?”<\/em><\/p>\n I also help my clients reframe rejection. And this is a biggie.<\/p>\n Just as not every person you date is going to be right for you, you\u2019re not going to be right for everyone you date, either.<\/p>\n \u201cRejection,\u201d taken in this context of \u201cjust not a good fit,\u201d is actually a gift. <\/em>It spares you wasted time and energy with someone who would never be fulfilling for your life.<\/p>\n You want and deserve to be with someone who wants and deserves to be with you. Nothing less.<\/p>\n That\u2019s (hopefully) how you choose your friends. It should most definitely be how you choose your mate.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n If you yearn for but don\u2019t know how to find a committed relationship, investing in expert help will awaken your focus.<\/p>\n You will have accountability, not just to your coach, but to the investment of yourself in the form of your hard-earned income.<\/p>\n You will be vested in the process \u2014 which is entirely about you, anyway.<\/p>\n In case you think I don\u2019t understand first-hand where you are in your journey\u2026.<\/p>\n I hired a relationship coach when I turned 40. I was tired of not getting the results I wanted, and time was running out. My coach helped me envision what I wanted and challenged me to look beyond my blind spots.<\/p>\n I honestly don’t think I’d be married to my husband if it weren’t for my coach.<\/em><\/p>\n I’ve hired professionals and coaches to help me achieve many of the goals I\u2019ve wanted to accomplish in life.<\/p>\n From losing weight to organizing my home, I have always considered it a statement of self-value to treat myself to expert guidance.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n So how are you going to walk your talk when it comes to dating and your search for \u201cthe one\u201d? How can you be ready when that special person shows up in your life?<\/p>\n Most of my clients who put the time into learning the Motivated to Marry Dating Secrets coaching program do find their life partners.<\/p>\n If you’re ready to commit yourself to your love life, let’s talk.<\/p>\n Go to www.talkwithcoachamy.com<\/a> to get the conversation started.<\/p>\n Fairytales take just minutes to read. And girl-gets-guy rom-coms are over in two hours. Perhaps damsels in magical kingdoms and characters on the big screen know something about how to find a committed relationship that you don\u2019t. But I doubt it.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3342,"featured_media":4848,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[103],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"\nIf so, remember that, when it comes to dating…<\/h2>\n
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Actions speak louder than words.<\/h3>\n
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Dating takes time and effort, just as relationships do AND just as anything worthwhile in your life does!<\/h3>\n
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Have you put dating at the bottom of your to-do list?<\/h3>\n
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Are you willing to face the fears that are holding you back?<\/h3>\n
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Put your money where your mouth is!<\/h3>\n
PS: Do yourself a favor and schedule a complimentary Meet Your Mate Strategy session<\/a> today! Let me help you get off the dating merry-go-round and find true love sooner than later!<\/h3>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"