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<\/a><\/p>\n“My pets can always tell if someone\u2019s a good person. Always.”<\/p>\n
If you’re thinking, “My dog doesn’t like my boyfriend,” the pet test can be a great\u00a0judge of character.<\/h2>\n
Whether or not you\u2019re consciously employing them, your subconscious is always busy at work sizing up people and situations.<\/p>\n
How does your date treat the wait staff in a restaurant? Does he tip well? Say “please” and “thank you”? How does the person treat old people, children, and animals?<\/p>\n
If you can\u00a0step back from your infatuation\u00a0and become a quiet observer, you can really learn a lot about a potential partner.<\/p>\n
However, if you\u2019re still convinced that your current catch is too good to be true, you may want to put someone else on the job. Someone, that is, whose primary infatuation and devotion are to you: your pet.<\/p>\n
Specifically, your furry, domesticated, “I put my vet\u2019s kids through college,” and “Can\u2019t live without\u00a0\u2019em” Fidos and Fluffies.<\/p>\n
If you\u2019re lucky enough to share your digs with some Frito paws or a hairball machine, you\u2019ve got a built-in judge of your new relationship.<\/h3>\n
We all know that dogs can smell fear. Or, maybe we\u2019re just so used to hearing that so we believe it\u2019s true.<\/p>\n
Turns out, it really is true. And their detection abilities aren\u2019t limited to just one emotional state.\u00a0A 2018 study\u00a0confirmed just that<\/a>.<\/p>\n Humans secrete chemosignals in their armpit sweat during different emotional conditions. And Fido can smell them a mile away!<\/p>\n While your faithful friend picks up your vibe from its sniffer, you pick up his from his behavior. And this is how he can help you screen your potential romantic partners.<\/p>\n Cats may not be the shameless sniffers that dogs are, but they’re\u00a0definitely no slouches when it comes to protecting their owners\u2019 best interests.<\/p>\n While you\u2019re not likely to bring a new romantic interest to a lab for controlled\u00a0sniffing, the pet test is still important.<\/p>\n Think of it this way:\u00a0Parents don\u2019t apologize for having their own kids when they get into a relationship with someone new.<\/p>\n They may wait until they\u2019re in an exclusive relationship before introducing the kids. But their children are always a disclosed and understood part of the “package deal.”<\/p>\n And trust me, anyone with children \u2014 especially a marriage-minded person<\/a> \u2014 is constantly sizing up their dates for their potential fit with children.<\/p>\n If you\u2019re going to\u00a0date someone with children, your disposition should be prepared to welcome and enjoy them and your heart to love them. You don\u2019t get one without the other.<\/p>\n But what about those singles who don\u2019t have children, but\u00a0pets they love just as much as family members? Should they be expected to downplay their love for their pets?<\/p>\n One of the biggest things I focus on with clients is authenticity. We dive deep into their values and life visions until they know themselves by heart and can express their core without apology.<\/p>\n Someone who wants to date you will either “completely get it,” or not. And he or she doesn\u2019t necessarily have to get a hand sniff before you administer the pet test.<\/p>\n Hopefully, your online dating profile has at least one picture of you and your pet together.<\/p>\n Those who don\u2019t want to “share”\u00a0a partner with an animal will often tell on themselves in their communication. They will disregard that part of your life or\u00a0become sarcastic about your relationship with your pet.<\/p>\n If the two of you make it to a first date, you’ll have the opportunity to talk about what\u2019s most important to you.<\/p>\n You’ll also get to share “a typical day”\u00a0in your life.<\/p>\n Do you get up extra early to go for a morning run with your dog before work, then come home at lunch to let him out? Have you ever taken your dog on vacation with you?<\/p>\n If you have a cat, you may have a different kind of story to tell. But the content of your relationship will come across similarly.<\/p>\n It\u2019s all about the person\u2019s response to your sharing.<\/p>\n Does he smile and show interest when you pull out your phone and share pictures? Or does he casually glance at your phone and say, “Uh-huh, cute,” then go on with a non-related topic?<\/p>\n Does he listen attentively to your story of going to the ends of the earth to help your best friend when he was sick? Or does he look at you quizzically and ask why you would ever spend so much money on an animal?<\/p>\n Does he validate your devotion by telling a similar story of his own, complete with pictures?<\/p>\n Does he suggest something all of you can do together on a second date?<\/p>\n If you have a kitty, how does your date respond when you talk about your feline companion? Does she light up and ask about the cat\u2019s breed and personality? Or does she cringe and immediately talk about being allergic?<\/p>\n After all, it\u2019s only the best for your furry friend, right?<\/p>\n Pets, despite being non-human, are\u00a0like human children\u00a0in terms of the responsibility involved in caring for them. They thrive on routine\u00a0and they never grow into independence the way humans do.<\/p>\n If you have hopes of a family one day, the pet test is a very good gauge of a potential partner\u2019s parenting instincts.<\/p>\n Anyone who wouldn\u2019t think twice about canceling an evening\u2019s plans to rush you and your sick pet to the emergency vet, for example, is a keeper.<\/p>\n If someone walks through your door and becomes visibly agitated, uncomfortable, or even aloof around your pet, consider it a red flag. And if\u00a0you don\u2019t catch it, your pet surely will.<\/p>\n Likewise, if your dog still jumps when excited and happens to deposit a dirty paw print on your date\u2019s nice clothes, what\u2019s the reaction? Shock? Anger? Whining?<\/p>\n Or a laugh and a shrug. Do they say,\u00a0“They\u2019re just clothes. Don\u2019t worry about it. And I\u2019m excited to meet you, too, buddy!”<\/p>\n If Fluffy can\u2019t even rub against a leg for a few purr-fect seconds to say hello, what does that tell you about future potential?<\/p>\n When I was dating, I watched the reaction of my dates and how they responded to my cat. Even though she was a feline, she was a faithful companion and was my emotional support to help me get through my divorce.<\/p>\n And we were a package deal.<\/p>\n I would watch my date\u2019s reaction carefully. Some didn\u2019t care if the cat was there at all whereas my husband, Alan, went over and picked my cat up. (Luckily, she liked people and was willing to let him do so).<\/p>\n It was then I knew he had great partner potential for me.<\/p>\n So watch for his or her behavior while your date is around, especially if you want to avoid telling everyone “My dog doesn’t like my boyfriend.”<\/p>\n Look for body language like ear position, tail wagging, relaxed mouth, rolling over, lying in a “settled”\u00a0position, and soliciting engagement. Watch how your date responds, as well.<\/p>\n And the person who shows up to this very important meet-and-greet with a gift bag of treats and toys in tow? Schedule the next date. Now.<\/p>\n I’m Coach Amy Schoen,<\/a> a D.C.-based national expert in dating and relationship life coaching with a proven methodology for finding true love. You can learn more about working with me by scheduling a Meet Your Mate Strategy Session<\/a>.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\nIs there real merit to putting a potential partner to the pet test?<\/h3>\n
If you have a pet, you already have a big love in your life.<\/h3>\n
What does the pet test look like in a new relationship?<\/h3>\n
The point is, you can and should start the “pet test”\u00a0before your date and pet even meet.<\/h3>\n
No one knows your pet as well as you do, especially not your new romantic partner.<\/h3>\n