{"id":4692,"date":"2021-11-08T15:33:47","date_gmt":"2021-11-08T20:33:47","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/motivatedtomarry.com\/stage\/?p=4692"},"modified":"2021-11-08T15:35:07","modified_gmt":"2021-11-08T20:35:07","slug":"when-to-move-on-from-a-relationship-thats-almost-but-not-quite-right","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/motivatedtomarry.com\/stage\/when-to-move-on-from-a-relationship-thats-almost-but-not-quite-right\/","title":{"rendered":"When To Move On From A Relationship That\u2019s Almost (But Not Quite) Right"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>It\u2019s all good on paper. It even looks good to everyone around you. But something \u2014 <em>something \u2014 <\/em>just isn\u2019t right. Are you crazy? Too picky? Self-sabotaging? Should you be finding a way to make it work? Or do you need help knowing when to move on from a relationship?<\/p>\n<p>I see it all the time with my clients. They meet someone they&#8217;re attracted to and with whom they have lots of chemistry.<\/p>\n<p><!--more--><a href=\"https:\/\/motivatedtomarry.com\/stage\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/11\/move-on.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-3208 alignleft\" src=\"https:\/\/motivatedtomarry.com\/stage\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/11\/move-on.jpg\" alt=\"Before and after of a man in a bad relationship and then a good one.\" width=\"300\" height=\"200\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>And yet, something&#8217;s not right.<\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s like a typical episode of <em>Say Yes to the Dress. <\/em>There\u2019s always a dress that the bride \u201cthought\u201d was everything she wanted. But, when asked how she <em>feels <\/em>in it, her response is a bland, shoulder-shrugging <em>\u201cMeh.\u201d\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s pretty. Designer. Uber-expensive. <em>But she\u2019s just not feeling it.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n<p>The bride-to-be heads back to the dressing room and emerges in a different dress <em>\u2014<\/em> a dress destined to be \u201cthe one.\u201d She gets teary-eyed, and, the second the veil goes on and the bride-to-be turns around, her entourage melts into <em>oohs <\/em>and <em>aahs.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>She had to <em>feel it.<\/em> She knew she would know when she had found the right one.<\/p>\n<p>But here\u2019s the tricky part:<\/p>\n<h2>Sometimes it\u2019s easier to know when you\u2019ve found \u201cthe one\u201d than it is to know when a partner <em>isn\u2019t <\/em>\u201cthe one.\u201d And, if you don\u2019t know when to move on from a relationship that\u2019s not right for you, you could miss out on \u201cthe one.\u201d<\/h2>\n<p>If you&#8217;ve been in this situation before (or you&#8217;re in it now), you know that feeling. You may not be able to put your finger on it, but it&#8217;s there, somewhere in the pit of your stomach.<\/p>\n<p>Other times it&#8217;s obvious.<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>He&#8217;s constantly late.<\/li>\n<li>She\u2019s lied to you or withheld important information about herself.<\/li>\n<li>He&#8217;s too messy for you.<\/li>\n<li>She&#8217;s constantly fighting with her ex.<\/li>\n<li>He yelled at you on several occasions and has a temper.<\/li>\n<li>She has kids who aren&#8217;t launched.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Whatever it is, it&#8217;s just hanging there and you&#8217;re feeling uncomfortable, as if it\u2019s just not a natural fit.<\/p>\n<p>And yet, you care for this person and there&#8217;s a lot of good there.<\/p>\n<p>So what do you do?<\/p>\n<p>First, you need to recognize the relationship for what it is.<\/p>\n<p>Is it an &#8220;almost, not quite&#8221; relationship? It is if it gives you a nagging feeling that it simply won&#8217;t last.<\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s a quandary, for sure. And it can cause you to not trust yourself. <em>I\u2019ve always wanted a-b-c in a partner, and he checks off all the boxes. But everything feels like x-y-z. I don\u2019t get it. Am I just not cut out for a relationship? <\/em><a href=\"https:\/\/motivatedtomarry.com\/stage\/why-is-finding-true-love-so-difficult\/\"><em>Why is finding true love so difficult?<\/em><\/a><\/p>\n<h2>Here are a few things to help you know whether to stay&#8230;or whether (and when) to move on from a relationship.<\/h2>\n<ul>\n<li>\n<h3>How do your life visions and goals line up?<\/h3>\n<p>Do you want the same things? Are you headed in the right direction?<\/p>\n<p>You want kids, and your partner doesn&#8217;t. No matter how good a fit you are, someone has to adjust their life vision. And more times than not, this doesn&#8217;t end well.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/motivatedtomarry.com\/stage\/do-you-know-if-your-partner-is-marriage-minded-or-not\/\">Marriage-minded people<\/a> know there has to be compromise in any relationship. But they also know that there are always non-negotiables, as well.<\/p>\n<p>In the case of children, for example, you have no way of knowing if the two of you would be able to get pregnant. But the deciding factor is most likely going to be the <em>attitude <\/em>about children and family.<\/p>\n<p>A family\/children-oriented couple will leave their hearts and relationship open to children, even if children don\u2019t come into their lives in the conventional way.<\/p>\n<p>When your life visions and major goals aren\u2019t in alignment, one of you will end up resenting the other in the long run.<\/li>\n<li>\n<h3>Are your key relationship values aligned?<\/h3>\n<p>Perhaps you have different moral compasses or different values about health or money.<\/p>\n<p>These are major areas that shape communication, lifestyle, and choices that carry significant consequences. Not being aligned with these key values will grate on you as time goes on.<\/p>\n<p>I believe that, more so than any other factor, your key relationship values need to be aligned, or the relationship won&#8217;t go the distance.<\/li>\n<li>\n<h3>Are you ignoring your deal-breakers?<\/h3>\n<p>Your deal-breakers are those things you absolutely can&#8217;t live with or without.<\/p>\n<p>Some deal-breakers are clear-cut for those who have them: smoking, heavy drinking, not taking care of health, and not liking animals, etc.<\/p>\n<p>And some are more subjective, with varying degrees of interpretation.<\/p>\n<p>If he keeps a messy home and you like things neat and orderly, you may never be happy. Granted, issues like this usually involve some give-and-take, even in the best relationships.<\/p>\n<p>But it all usually comes down to respect and acceptance. Does he respect your need for a harmonious home space? Does he value the way <em>you <\/em>value your \u201csense of place\u201d?<\/p>\n<p>Likewise, are you willing to let go of some control <em>if <\/em>you know that he genuinely cares and is going to do his best to please you<\/p>\n<p>If, however, you are like ships passing in the night on these deal-breakers, you will never be happy. And you can fake it for only so long.<\/p>\n<p>Perhaps you need to be with someone who has a love of adventure. It\u2019s \u201cin your blood,\u201d and you want to share this important part of your life and spirit with your partner. And yet, s\/he has never traveled beyond the state line and doesn\u2019t feel the urgency to explore the world.<\/p>\n<p>Of course, that most likely won&#8217;t work, either.<\/p>\n<p>I once had a client who couldn&#8217;t tolerate his partner&#8217;s 70-lb dog. The dog went everywhere with the couple and even sat on the man\u2019s lap in the car!<\/p>\n<p>You either love that, welcome that, and go with the flow&#8230;or you don\u2019t.<\/p>\n<p>Needless to say, that relationship didn&#8217;t last.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>What\u2019s the big message here?<\/p>\n<h2><em>Some things can be worked out and others really can&#8217;t.\u00a0<\/em><\/h2>\n<p>When you&#8217;re at a big impasse, it may be time to cut the cord and move on.<\/p>\n<p>The more you can assess what&#8217;s not working and whether or not it\u2019s fixable, the better. Knowing when to move on from a relationship will allow both of you to amicably agree that you\u2019re not a good match. You will then be free to look elsewhere without regret or animosity.<\/p>\n<p>The good news?<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019ve found that my clients ultimately select a much better partner for their next relationship.<\/p>\n<p>Making the decision to end a relationship isn&#8217;t easy. It takes courage, self-respect, and the right kind of support.<\/p>\n<p>Time is too valuable to stay in a relationship that won&#8217;t serve both of you in the long run. There are plenty of great people looking for love, especially now!<\/p>\n<p>I&#8217;m happy to talk with you about how coaching can successfully guide you through this process and out the other side. Simply go to <a href=\"https:\/\/motivatedtomarry.com\/stage\/connect-with-coach-amy\/\">talkwithcoachamy.com<\/a> and tell me about yourself so we can get started.<\/p>\n<p>Wishing you the best in life and love,<\/p>\n<p>Coach Amy<\/p>\n<p>PS: Feel free to share your deal breakers and what would make you to move on from a relationship. Your comments are appreciated!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>It\u2019s all good on paper. It even looks good to everyone around you. But something \u2014 something \u2014 just isn\u2019t right. Are you crazy? Too picky? Self-sabotaging? Should you be finding a way to make it work? Or do you need help knowing when to move on from a relationship? I see it all the [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3342,"featured_media":4696,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[103],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v18.3 (Yoast SEO v18.5.1) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>When To Move On From A Relationship That\u2019s Almost (But Not Quite) Right<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Knowing when to move on from a relationship can be tricky. Here you&#039;ll learn how to know when it&#039;s time without question.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/motivatedtomarry.com\/stage\/when-to-move-on-from-a-relationship-thats-almost-but-not-quite-right\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"When To Move On From A Relationship That\u2019s Almost (But Not Quite) Right\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Knowing when to move on from a relationship can be tricky. 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