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<\/a><\/p>\nSome of my prospective clients have used their busy lives as an excuse to hand off the job of finding love to a matchmaker. \u201cI work long hours. I have this obligation, that social event, these activities.\u201d<\/p>\n
What message does that give to a potential partner?<\/p>\n
Do people like that really have time for a relationship? Do they truly understand what relationships are about, let alone value them? Do they have any sense of accountability for their personal role in their own relationships?<\/p>\n
People who are seeking a relationship want to see that you are involved in the process of finding true love<\/a>. They want to experience <\/em>the effort you are making. After all, they\u2019re making the effort, too. And the effort you make is the greatest statement of your current desire and potential future commitment.<\/p>\n So, trusting in another person to pick your mate? How would you <\/em>feel as a potential candidate for this client? For that matter, if you are in a matchmaker\u2019s candidate file, what message are you <\/em>delivering? Whose instincts are you trusting more \u2013 yours or those of a person whose job it is to \u201cprovide\u201d candidates for a client?<\/p>\n (I’ve seen firsthand how a matchmaker was not willing to present a client of mine to her client, even though I thought the couple could hit it off.)<\/p>\n All I know from my personal experience and my 16+-year coaching career is that what you focus on is what you achieve. <\/em>And \u201cfocus\u201d involves personal effort, not just desire or financial investment.<\/p>\n If you want to lose 20 lbs, it\u2019s not enough to buy the expensive meal and exercise plans. They won\u2019t do the work until you <\/em>do the work.<\/p>\n Your potential partner will respect and appreciate that you took an active role in finding your life partner. The awareness of being \u201cchosen\u201d and worked for by someone helps to create a deep and lasting connection. And they are ready to be proactive with the process.<\/p>\n When a not-so-young man told me he was too busy to sign up for my coaching program, my radar went up. When he said he relies on matchmakers (with zero success for over two years), I knew he wasn\u2019t my client.<\/p>\n You see, my clients are ready to step up, to go through my process and do the work. They understand and embrace the reality that love requires effort.<\/p>\n It’s not a lot of time in the grand scheme of things \u2013 just a couple hours a month. But those hours represent your determination to find true love.<\/p>\n And remember, the bottom line is that a potential mate will appreciate your efforts.<\/p>\n I remember the energy I put into looking for my husband. And I appreciated the effort he put into learning more about relationships and looking for someone he wanted to meet. He was being proactive with the process. He even had a support group and counselor helping him along the way.<\/p>\nAnd that\u2019s the point. True love requires effort. And ultimately, you<\/em> have to do the work.<\/h2>\n