{"id":4121,"date":"2019-11-11T11:41:47","date_gmt":"2019-11-11T16:41:47","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/motivatedtomarry.com\/stage\/?p=4121"},"modified":"2021-05-12T14:13:56","modified_gmt":"2021-05-12T18:13:56","slug":"can-you-find-true-love-after-40-absolutely-if-you-do-this","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/motivatedtomarry.com\/stage\/can-you-find-true-love-after-40-absolutely-if-you-do-this\/","title":{"rendered":"Can You Find True Love After 40? Absolutely, If You Do This"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Forty seems to be the new thirty! Couples often start families later, and people don\u2019t always lock in their careers until they\u2019ve spent years in several jobs. But can you find true love after 40? Or is it too late to have the kind of love you dreamed of in your youth?<\/p>\n<p>The answer is a big, hearty <em>yes.<\/em> But just as 40 brings with it a number of physical changes, it also comes with life history. And that history can shape your perspective on love and a potential mate.<\/p>\n<p><!--more--><a href=\"https:\/\/motivatedtomarry.com\/stage\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/find-true-love-after-40.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-3208 alignleft\" src=\"https:\/\/motivatedtomarry.com\/stage\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/find-true-love-after-40.jpg\" alt=\"A couple happily dancing in a field after finding true love after 40.\" width=\"300\" height=\"225\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>Forty is an interesting age. It\u2019s like a bridge connecting your youth, with all its freedom and exploration, to middle age. It can instantly make you feel old, even when your mind swears you are still young. And if you\u2019re single, it\u2019s only natural to wonder, <em>\u201cCan you find true love after 40?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n<p>And a good number of my clients are over 40 who have met their life partners as a result of our coaching.<\/p>\n<p>However, I\u2019ve seen that for <a href=\"https:\/\/motivatedtomarry.com\/stage\/do-you-know-if-your-partner-is-marriage-minded-or-not\">marriage-minded people<\/a>, being single after 40 can feel disheartening, even hopeless. If you fall into this group, you may be doing a lot of comparing to friends who are happily married. You may see them as having what you want \u2014 or think you\u2019re <em>supposed <\/em>to want. And you may see those younger than you as being \u201clucky\u201d because they still have possibilities you believe have passed you by.<\/p>\n<p>But let\u2019s pull away from despair mode and really look at this question, <em>\u201cCan you find true love after 40?\u201d <\/em>If you\u2019re convinced it\u2019s useless at this point, what are some of the lies you might be telling yourself?<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>All the good ones are taken. (They\u2019re not.)<\/li>\n<li>I had my one chance, and it didn\u2019t work out.<\/li>\n<li>I have too much baggage for a relationship now.<\/li>\n<li>Everyone <em>else <\/em>in my age group has too much baggage.<\/li>\n<li>Dating takes too much time and effort.<\/li>\n<li>All men are (fill in the blank).<\/li>\n<li>All women are (fill in the blank).<\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/psychcentral.com\/blog\/a-therapist-reveals-the-surprising-truth-about-older-men-marring-younger-women\/\">Men want only younger women<\/a>.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>The truth is, this threshold into middle-age can also be a threshold into your most profound relationships \u2014 including love.<\/p>\n<p>You\u2019ve not come to this point empty-handed or empty-hearted. Or perhaps you\u2019ve already been married and it didn\u2019t work out for you. And, chances are you\u2019ve had several romantic relationships and at least one significant relationship so far if you haven\u2019t been married yet. You\u2019ve \u201clived and learned,\u201d not only about life and people but about yourself. And you\u2019ve refined your beliefs and values, sometimes without even realizing it.<\/p>\n<p>You are, simply put, the person you wished you knew how to be when you were younger. But life has its trade-offs, and the lessons that enrich and empower it usually come at the cost of time.<\/p>\n<p>So here you are \u2014 40, 45, and even over 50 \u2014 and single. Dating for the sake of dating sounds exhausting at best. And if you\u2019re marriage-minded, your question is \u201ccan you find <em>true <\/em>love after 40?\u201d<\/p>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"YouTube video player\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/74xRyh6fKV4\" width=\"560\" height=\"315\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><span data-mce-type=\"bookmark\" style=\"display: inline-block; width: 0px; overflow: hidden; line-height: 0;\" class=\"mce_SELRES_start\">\ufeff<\/span><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p>When you embark (or re-embark) on the dating scene after 40, there are several things to keep in mind. And there\u2019s at one essential in this list that can make all the difference in your success.<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>Keep in mind how you got here. <\/strong>Have you ever been married? Are you divorced? Widowed? Or have you loved and hoped it would move towards marriage, and it never did? Your specific experiences with love and loss will greatly affect your mindset going forward.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Own where you are. <\/strong>If you\u2019re not comfortable being alone as a <em>choice<\/em> and not as a <em>default<\/em>, you\u2019ll only exude neediness in the dating world.Even if you\u2019ve always wanted to be in a committed relationship, being single isn\u2019t a sign of failure. Embrace your solo life as an expression of knowing what is important to you and knowing how to truly appreciate the life you\u2019re in <em>now.<\/em>That kind of confidence is what will get you through disappointing dates with a \u201cthat was interesting\u201d attitude. And it will help you approach every connection with a mindset of \u201cWhat can\/did I learn? And how can I grow from it?\u201dOwning where you are now is just another way of saying, <em>love yourself. <\/em>And by this point in life, you know that no one else will love you if you don\u2019t love yourself first.<\/li>\n<li><strong><strong>Be (or become) the best version of yourself. <\/strong><\/strong>If you want to meet someone who is adventurous, be adventurous. If you want to meet someone who is health-conscious, tidy up your own lifestyle habits.The important thing is to treat your life as if it is still supposed to be lived \u2014 because it is. Explore new hobbies and interests. Get involved with new groups of people who are doing things you\u2019ve never done before.Cultivate points of interest in your own life. Interesting people attract other interesting people. Would you want to hang out with you?\u00a0 If not, look to expand your interests and activities.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h3>Take the FREE \u201cAre You Ready to Meet Your Mate?\u201d Quiz to gain additional insight into why you haven&#8217;t found your true love yet. <a href=\"https:\/\/motivatedtomarry.lpages.co\/take-the-mtm-quiz\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Click here to learn more and to take the quiz<\/a>. And if you&#8217;re ready to roll up your sleeves and begin your serious search for love with my support, <a href=\"https:\/\/motivatedtomarry.com\/stage\/connect-with-coach-amy\/\">click here to schedule some time for us to chat<\/a>.<\/h3>\n<ul>\n<li><strong><strong>Give your baggage a new title. <\/strong><\/strong>Baggage is a burden only when you drag it around unopened. And by \u201copened\u201d I don\u2019t mean over dinner during a first date. I mean facing it. Dealing with it. <em>Learning from it. <\/em>Allowing it to shape your values, character, behavior, and choices going forward.That means owning up to your own mistakes and making changes that make you a better person and potential partner. Your \u201cbaggage\u201d now becomes a wealth of life experience to share with someone who also has a lot to offer.And if your baggage is a child or a dependent parent, how can you turn that around so it will be considered an asset for you?<\/li>\n<li><strong><strong>Don\u2019t pull any punches. <\/strong><\/strong>Especially if you\u2019re using an online dating site to increase your options, don\u2019t lie. <em><em><em><em>About anything.<\/em><\/em><\/em><\/em>Just because you still enjoy the music of your 30\u2019s doesn\u2019t mean you\u2019re 30, so don\u2019t say you are. And even if you were an athlete in college, you may need to do an honest assessment of your body type now that you are over 40.Pretending to be something you\u2019re not will only lead to disappointment and distrust once you meet someone in person. So be authentic and honest. Remember to own where you are and who you are.<\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/motivatedtomarry.com\/stage\/\"><strong>Hire a dating coach.<\/strong><\/a>You call in the pros for everything from taxes to plumbing, so why not for dating? Don\u2019t stay stuck wondering, <em>\u201cCan you find true love after 40?\u201d <\/em>Reach out and bring an expert along to show you how to do it.Most of my clients are over 40, 50, 60 and beyond!\u00a0 For those who seek it, love is available to all!\u00a0 And a dating coach can shorten your learning curve and save you from heartache and wasting your time.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"YouTube video player\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/ti1hcnfIhKQ\" width=\"560\" height=\"315\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>Lower your expectations, not your hopes (or your standards). <\/strong>Dating later in life can feel defeating from the get-go. You\u2019ve reached a point where you know what you like, and you probably have little tolerance for what you don\u2019t like. So it\u2019s natural to think no one will measure up.\u00a0 (Watch out for those gremlins!)\n<p>This is the time to let go of some of those fantasy expectations from your younger years. As you look ahead to the later years of life, you realize that rippled abs and a designer wardrobe aren\u2019t what will sustain a relationship. Sometimes a true gem is buried underneath some quirky habits, stretch marks, and a favorite shirt from the 80\u2019s.<\/p>\n<p>List a handful of <em>character <\/em>non-negotiables, then allow people to show you who they truly are. Chances are you\u2019re not rushing to beat a biological clock, so enjoy the ride. Keep in mind that anyone you meet is also assessing <em>you<\/em>.I\u2019m not suggesting you lower your standards.\u00a0 I\u2019m recommending you give a nice person a second or third date to see if something can develop.\u00a0 Then, if you decide s\/he\u2019s not the right one for you, then politely tell him\/her \u201cno thank you\u201d.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Give people the benefit of the doubt. Go into dating with confidence and hope, and without expectations. (After all, you\u2019re happy to own your singlehood, too, right?) And watch how life \u2014 <em>and love <\/em>\u2014 can blossom after 40.<\/p>\n<h3>PS: Would you like additional insight into why you haven\u2019t found your marriage mate yet? Then you\u2019ll want to take the FREE \u201cAre You Ready to Meet Your Mate?\u201d Quiz.\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/motivatedtomarry.lpages.co\/take-the-mtm-quiz\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Click here to learn more and to take the quiz<\/a>. And if you&#8217;re ready to roll up your sleeves and begin your serious search for love with my support, <a href=\"https:\/\/motivatedtomarry.com\/stage\/connect-with-coach-amy\/\">click here to schedule some time for us to chat<\/a>.<\/h3>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Forty seems to be the new thirty! Couples often start families later, and people don\u2019t always lock in their careers until they\u2019ve spent years in several jobs. But can you find true love after 40? Or is it too late to have the kind of love you dreamed of in your youth? The answer is [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3342,"featured_media":4125,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[6],"tags":[18,19,128,243],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v18.3 (Yoast SEO v18.5.1) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Can You Find True Love After 40? 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