So what if you were not working currently because you are \u201cin between\u201d jobs, in a transition, would you be brave enough to date?\u00a0 Also, what if you were working a job that was beneath your skills to just pay your bills, would you be inclined to date?\u00a0 Would your pride take yourself out the dating playing field even though you really want to find a serious relationship?\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n
I believe that gender may matter here.\u00a0 For women, it seems to be easier to date under these circumstances especially if you subscribe to more traditional roles.\u00a0 However, for men it can be very difficult since cultural roles expect the man to pay for dates, especially in the beginning of a relationship.\u00a0<\/p>\n
One of my female clients told me that she went out with a man who was unemployed.\u00a0 He paid for the date and then told her of his situation.\u00a0 I give him a lot of credit for being honest and upfront.\u00a0 That takes courage.\u00a0<\/p>\n
Here\u2019s my dating advice for men (and women):<\/p>\n
1.\u00a0Be honest and upfront about your circumstances.\u00a0
\n2.\u00a0Don\u2019t apologize for your situations
\n3.\u00a0Stay positive<\/p>\n
When the what do you do question comes your way, you could say, \u201cI\u2019m in transition.\u00a0 I am taking proactive steps.\u00a0 I have several opportunities that I am pursuing.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 Or you can say, \u201cI am working at Borders part-time while I pursue more meaningful opportunities.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n
One of my male friends in his mid 30\u2019s was still living at home and working 2 jobs, one which is his part-time DJ business that takes place mostly on the weekends.\u00a0 When he met his wife, she was understanding about his situation and not judgmental.\u00a0 With her support and income they were able to move into their own place and my friend had the opportunity to pursue his entrepreneurial career.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n
Also, if you have any major debts, be upfront about that before you start dating exclusively.\u00a0 One of my clients was dating a guy and became engaged.\u00a0 A couple months later she found out he was in debt to the tune of 5 figures!\u00a0 He never said anything about it and was spending as if he did not have this debt.\u00a0\u00a0 She did break up with him over this issue- because she felt she could not trust him in the money-spending area.\u00a0 The key here is to be honest and upfront.\u00a0 Show your partner to be that you have a plan to eliminate the debt and that it is under control.\u00a0<\/p>\n
I hope you have learned some new strategies and ideas on how to date when your disposable income has been squeezed.\u00a0\u00a0 What do you plan on doing to date on a budget?\u00a0 What issues have come up for you while dating in this tough economy?<\/p>\n
This inquiring relationship coach wants to know!\u00a0 I\u2019d love to hear your comments.\u00a0<\/p>\n
Your relationship coach,<\/p>\n
Amy<\/p>\n