After we got home from our trip, Alan was prompt about calling me up and asking me for a date.\u00a0 He must have said (I don\u2019t have the exact transcript!) that he enjoyed spending time with me and wanted to see me again.\u00a0 As my memory serves me, he asked me out for the following Saturday night.\u00a0 This was a good sign that he may be marriage minded!<\/p>\n
So our first date was at an outdoor concert in a Northern Virginia town center in our area with a folk singer.\u00a0 Alan had put together a picnic for us.\u00a0 It was an enjoyable evening.\u00a0\u00a0 I also asked him my dating questions: \u201cHow do you like the single\u2019s world?\u201d\u00a0 He answered, \u201cI hate it\u201d.\u00a0 Then, I knew he was someone who was marriage minded and could be ready to settle down.<\/p>\n
[Guys take note- you don\u2019t have to spend a fortune taking women on dates- especially in the beginning when you are not sure about the woman and her interest in you!]\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 At the end of the evening Alan asked me, \u201cDo you have plans for tomorrow afternoon?\u00a0 There is a Shakespeare theatre in the park\u201d.<\/p>\n
I had a choice to make- I could be \u201cRules-like\u201d and say I have plans (which I didn\u2019t) or I could go- it sounded fun to see Shakespeare in the Park!\u00a0\u00a0 So I said told Alan I could go with him.\u00a0 As that turned out that was a turning point in our relationship.<\/p>\n
You see Alan in lived in Northern Virginia and I lived in Rockville, Maryland- about 20 miles away.\u00a0 For our first date he drove\u00a0 at least 20 minutes from the other side of the river, picked me up and drove back to Reston, Virginia (a half hour ride from my house).\u00a0 Then, he had to drive me back to my house in Maryland and then back home.<\/p>\n
I had one boyfriend who lived in Virginia and expected me to come to his house when we were dating \u2013 all the time.\u00a0 I was willing to do some of the traveling half the time.\u00a0 When he asked me to a wedding and refused to pick me up,\u00a0 I ended up not going to the wedding with him and that was the last I saw of him.\u00a0 I\u2019m just that kind of woman!\u00a0 I expect to be treated like a lady, especially for special occasions.<\/p>\n
And the next day, Alan drove back to Maryland, picked me up.\u00a0 Fortunately, the show was in Maryland- so that was easier for Alan.\u00a0\u00a0 We went to the show- this show was one of Shakespeare\u2019s tragedies.\u00a0 We were both getting restless after the first act so we decided to leave and go into town to get some ice cream!\u00a0 (Did I mention the show was free- so it was not a real loss to leave it?) We had a chance to talk some more, and found out that we had similar goals and we meshed in terms of our mindsets.<\/p>\n
What I found out is that Alan and a whole group of men (and women) who don\u2019t subscribe to the Rules.\u00a0 They don\u2019t play games and want to know that you are interested in the beginning to continue showing their interest.\u00a0 And if you don\u2019t show interest back, they move on to someone who will.\u00a0\u00a0 Marriage Minded men do not have time for games or indecisive women.<\/p>\n
Personally, asking for a date at the last minute on a regular basis can be a problem, especially if you are desire to date someone who plans ahead their time.\u00a0 For them, that can seem not respectful.\u00a0 In this case, Alan was being spontaneous and I decided to go with the flow!\u00a0\u00a0 Fortunately, he did not make a habit of it.<\/p>\n
So which of your \u201crules\u201d may be limiting your dating success?\u00a0 Which ones are serving you by setting necessary boundaries?\u00a0 This curious coach wants to know!<\/p>\n
In my next post I will talk about which marriage minded double standards for men versus women worked for me and my clients. Coach Amy\u2019s marriage minded dating story continues!<\/p>\n
Intentionally yours,<\/p>\n
Coach Amy<\/p>\n