Take a good look at who are you attracting in terms of dating.\u00a0 Then think about what kind of person do you want to meet?\u00a0 What are their characteristics \u2013 not physical necessarily- more about who they are?\u00a0 Answer this critical relationship question, \u201cWhat values do you want them to have that align with yours?<\/p>\n
It\u2019s important to have clarity around this.\u00a0\u00a0 If you are attracting people who treat you badly, then you need to ask yourself, \u201cHow you let this happen?\u201d You get to choose.\u00a0 Also, think about how you may be putting yourself out there in a way that does attract the wrong kind of people.<\/p>\n
Yes, sometimes a person appears one way and you have to get to know them and spend time to see their true colors.\u00a0 We\u2019ve all been there.\u00a0 What can you do upfront to weed out inappropriate people?<\/p>\n
My values clarification work has been instrumental to my clients having better success meeting better quality people, especially when we work with their internet dating profile.\u00a0 When I talk about values, I am referring to what is really important for you in life.\u00a0 So ask yourself this relationship question, \u201cWhat really matters for you and what\u2019s most fulfilling for you?\u201d<\/p>\n
Your relationship-oriented values must be similar with your life partner in order to feel fulfilled in that relationship or else it cannot be sustained for the long haul.<\/p>\n
With one of my clients we discovered he had a key value around family togetherness.\u00a0 He was a single Dad with 3 kids.\u00a0 He needed a life partner that embraced his family and wanted to join in.\u00a0 His previous girlfriend did not share this value- it was obvious that that relationship was not going to work for the long term and he started to put himself out differently.\u00a0 He went back online and met his wife.\u00a0 Now she and her daughter live with my client and his kids all in one big happy family.<\/p>\n
At this time ask yourself this relationship question, \u201cWhat values must my life partner and I share in order for us to feel content and fulfilled?\u00a0 In that answer lie the key to your future happiness.\u00a0 Compare that to what criteria you are currently using to decide who to date.\u00a0 What do you think?<\/p>\n