During the months of June and July after returning from the biking weekend in Cape May, I was busy dating other men I had met on that trip in addition to Alan. I was taking the time to get to know each of them.
I went to an outdoor concert at a music hall with Barry where he provided the dinner, as well. Then we spent another afternoon at my pool. While he was swimming laps, I saw an old male friend who was married. Being a social person and not one who likes to sit still for too long, I was having a conversation with my friend. Barry got upset that I was putting my attention to someone else besides him. I wasn’t being rude, since he was swimming laps and I had to wait for him. In my mind I was being social. Clearly this relationship would not work if he got upset with me talking to other people.
The next guy I dated from the biking weekend lived in Baltimore (an hour from DC). It turns out he had just gone through a messy divorce, had two kids and a busy job. We had a nice date, however, being marriage minded (remember I was 41 years old and time was precious) I knew it would be a long road with this guy and I would most likely have to move to Baltimore. Our goals were not aligned. Also, he did not follow through in a consistent manner. He was clearly not ready for a serious relationship.
Alan was appeared marriage minded, focused on dating only me and followed through consistently. He did not appear to be dating anyone else. He seemed sincere in his sole interest in me. This is the double standard I had mentioned in my previous post. It is important for the guy to show singular interest for the woman so that the woman can feel safe to trust him. Also, in regards to exclusivity, I truly believe that it is best if the man brings up the subject and insists on it. I do know instances that women have brought it up first.
Women, have you been dating several men or pining away for one guy that makes you more vulnerable? Men, are you able to show your sincere interest in one woman and stay focused on your desire to take it to the next level (with out being annoying)? What has been your experience? What has worked best for you?
In my next post I will discuss my most important Marriage Minded discussion you need to have if you want to see the relationship has the ability to move forward towards marriage in a timely pace.
Intentionally yours,
Coach Amy
PS. If you live in the DC area, then sign up for my free membership site: http://www.DCDatingInfo.com to find out where to meet great singles in DC and to get my weekly calendar of singles events.
