I see this with every client. They meet someone who is relationship oriented as they are. There is a true connection and a desire to move towards a more serious arrangement like getting engaged or establish a committed monogamous relationship. Then there is a snag. This can happen within one month of dating, 6 months, 2 years or more!
A snag can be an issue such as how to spend money as a couple, how to travel together, dealing with a difficult family member or how one spends his time their time when they are not together. These are what I call relationship turning points. A make or break situations. Either it moves the relationship forward or it splits up the couple. Let me give you an example:
Wendy was a 30 something software developer who was motivated to marry. All her friends were getting married and having children. Then, she met Ken who was also a software developer. Their usual routine was that they would go out for dinner and then he would suggest they go back to her place for desert and to watch a movie on TV. My client wondered why they never planned to go out to theater, concerts or other outside events. By the way, he was a perfect gentleman when they were home! (I know what you are thinking)
In our coaching conversation, I encouraged Wendy to ask Ken why they never went out for an activity or an event after dinner. What Ken told Wendy is, ”If you would pitch in (financially) we could do more!”
In our coaching session, I reminded Wendy of her “equal partnership” value and brought to her attention,”You want equal partnership your relationship, however, you don’t show equal partnership in your financial contribution when paying for your dates. And you both have similar salaries.” She had a choice, to stand on ceremony of the traditional convention of the man should pay for the date which most likely would end their relationship or she can honor her equal partnership value and keep the relationship going.
Wendy was really falling in love with Ken and did agree to participate in paying for part of their dates so they could do more together. This interaction demonstrated that they can communicate well as a couple and work through issues. This is a major step in the relationship hurdles checklist. After this snag, it was pretty much smooth sailing for them as a couple. Wendy and Ken were engaged within a year and married within two years. Last time I spoke to Wendy, she told me that they currently have at least one child.
For so many of my clients, meeting people is not a problem. It’s the issues that come up when dating and how you handle it once you have met someone who has potential where you end up getting engaged and then married. (We all know that getting engaged does not necessarily mean you will get married!)
Knowing the relationship hurdles and how to move past them is critical for you to have that loving, fulfilling relationship that results in you getting engaged. And the Motivated to Marry Dating Secrets Coaching program has the Relationship Hurdles Checklist handout for you to follow as your guide. Get the coaching program and my support by joining the Motivated to Marry Dating Secrets Coaching Club. www.MotivatedtoMarryDatingSecrets.com – “blitz2015” to save 50% this month. Get ready for the January Dating Blitz!
Best Wishes for a Happy and Healthy New Year,
Coach Amy
PS. Do you find yourself in relationships where you don’t end up getting engaged and then married? Don’t miss a step on your way towards getting engaged when you meet that special person. The Motivated to Marry Dating Secrets Coaching Program gives you the roadmap to get you to marriage. Why not give yourself the best chance of success? Go to www.MotivatedtoMarryDatingSecrets.com and save 50% this month with “blitz2015” coupon.
