Once I realized my marriage was over and there was no turning back, I took several steps to heal myself. I mentioned previously I was working with a therapist to heal my loss of my marriage. I joined several singles groups in the DC area such as the Washington, DC Ski Club, sports groups, started to participate in the DC dance community and New Beginnings. New Beginnings (www.newbeginningsusa.org) was great for getting support and for socializing. At this time, I was on the younger side of that group.
I was very active and I tried many different things. I was “motivated” to meet someone who wanted a family, as well. I didn’t always pick the right men who were seeking a serious relationship leading to marriage.
Being an extroverted, friendly person, I had no problem meeting men for dating, however, I did have a problem meeting men who had the same life goals as me, who I was attracted to and was a good fit values wise.
I dated some great guys that I met had their families already and did not want more children. So I made the tough choices to keep looking. I had seen the impact on a female 40 year old friend who married a man in his late 50’s with grown children and how hard it was for them both since she had to give up her dream of having kids of her own when she married this man.
So I stayed focused on my goal of meeting a marriage minded, family oriented man. I tried every avenue possible: a matchmaking service, speed dating, online dating sites, singles events, speed dating, sports groups and activities, singles travel groups and the classified sections of an area paper (still very popular in the late 90’s). I even tried online dating in 2000. I kept working to expand my personal growth through seminars, reading and working with a dating coach in both a group and then in an individual setting. I had turned forty and was feeling quite desperate. At the time I owned and operated a women’s clothing boutique — a seven day a week operation. That required a lot of my time and attention.
What is a marriage minded single 40 year old woman who wanted a family to do? How do you keep yourself motivated and focused? This curious DC dating coach wants to know.
Intentionally yours,
Coach Amy
PS. Stayed tuned for the next chapter of this DC dating coach’s story to meeting her husband at 41 years old.
