In a recent coaching session with one of my clients, Marilyn, an attractive late 40’s client, had just begun online dating with a matching site where they give you several matches per day. There she was with over 20 matches in front of her. She was overwhelmed!
Marilyn has a very full life with a demanding job, family responsibilities, and fulfilling community work. Being the nice person that she is, she felt she had to respond to everyone who was matched up with her. It was hard for her to say no! What if she passed over someone good?
One of my online tips for dating was to institute a system where she rated her matches A, B or C. “A” candidates are a very good match where they share her values, have similar life goals, have the kind of profession she respects and lives within a 25 mile radius. She set up the criteria, not me! The “B” person may be those who had the first 3 criteria and may live over 50 miles away. And “C’s” have none of what she was looking for.
I could see that Marilyn needed permission to nix the C’s. I told her let go of the C’s (thus opening her up for some new, better potential matches). Another of my online dating tips I gave her was that she needs to initiate the contact with her A matches. Being brought up as a lady, she thought, “Isn’t the guy the one to initiate?” I told her given the online dating set up, it was okay if she initiated. However, the guy would need to respond in a timely fashion and then take the initiative if he was truly interested and a worthwhile candidate.
How do you manage your time with online dating? Do you get overwhelmed with the amount of people to weed through and who you want to respond to? What are your online dating tips for using a system that works for you? I love to hear your comments.
Intentionally,
Coach Amy
PS. If you want to learn more about how to date online more effectively and with greater success, join me for my upcoming tele-coaching program starting in July. Earlybird price is in effect. Details at http://www.attractqualitypeopletodateonline.com. This group currently has 10 slots available.
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