The holidays are among us! First I want to wish everyone who reads my blog a joyous, safe holiday with your family and friends. I hope you are with people who care about you.
Talking about the holidays, everyone has their own expectations about the holidays and how they want to spend them. This is an important conversation to have sooner than later if you find yourself tending towards a serious love relationship. “How do you like to spend the holidays?” is a good open ended question for you to ask. Then, just listen to the answer.
Is family an important part of your date’s life? Does he fly cross country every Christmas to be with his family? Would he expect a spouse to go with him? I dreaded the trek to Western Ohio from DC during my first marriage. I really prefer to stay put at home during the holidays and share it with good friends if no family members are close by. I do know many people who do make the effort and I admire their pereseverance!
The holidays can be a big source of conflict for a couple. Whose family do you spend it with? My ex andI came up with an agreement – we would spend Thanksgiving with my family in New York and Christmas with his in Ohio. We braved flights where there were snow storms and or car rides up I95 to New York that took 8 hours instead of the usual 4 to 5 it takes on non holiday times. In my current marriage, we did go visit family in New York since both our family are up there before we had the baby! Now we stay in DC and would like family members to visit us!
My dating advice to you is to ask how your date prefers to spend the holidays. What is important to him? What is he actually doing since actions speak louder than words! Notice the values that come through fromthis important dating conversation.
What conversations will you have this week or next with someone you ar dating with regards to how they spend the holidays? What relationship issues can arise from this conversations? This inquiring relationship coach would like to know. Please comment below.
– Your relationship coach, Amy
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