Take a good look at who are you attracting in terms of dating. Then think about what kind of person do you want to meet? What are their characteristics – not physical necessarily- more about who they are? Answer this critical relationship question, “What values do you want them to have that align with yours?
It’s important to have clarity around this. If you are attracting people who treat you badly, then you need to ask yourself, “How you let this happen?” You get to choose. Also, think about how you may be putting yourself out there in a way that does attract the wrong kind of people.
Yes, sometimes a person appears one way and you have to get to know them and spend time to see their true colors. We’ve all been there. What can you do upfront to weed out inappropriate people?
My values clarification work has been instrumental to my clients having better success meeting better quality people, especially when we work with their internet dating profile. When I talk about values, I am referring to what is really important for you in life. So ask yourself this relationship question, “What really matters for you and what’s most fulfilling for you?”
Your relationship-oriented values must be similar with your life partner in order to feel fulfilled in that relationship or else it cannot be sustained for the long haul.
With one of my clients we discovered he had a key value around family togetherness. He was a single Dad with 3 kids. He needed a life partner that embraced his family and wanted to join in. His previous girlfriend did not share this value- it was obvious that that relationship was not going to work for the long term and he started to put himself out differently. He went back online and met his wife. Now she and her daughter live with my client and his kids all in one big happy family.
At this time ask yourself this relationship question, “What values must my life partner and I share in order for us to feel content and fulfilled? In that answer lie the key to your future happiness. Compare that to what criteria you are currently using to decide who to date. What do you think?
PS. If you really are serious about focusing on Getting Love Right this year, then join my upcoming Get Love Right telecoaching group (www.GetLoveRight.com) starting February 22nd. There are only 6 slots available for this group where you will get individual attention and support from like-minded individuals. I also review your internet dating profile (or get you online!). Join before 2/15 and save $200. Let’s get started today with your first personal coaching session!
