If you are in the place I was when I was single and dating for the purpose of marriage, you may be tired of all this searching for love effort and would like to get off the dating merry-go-round, once and for all. You would like to finally find your special marriage minded person and put your energies towards building a life with a partner, and having a family for some of you. Let me ask you, “Does dating seem like wasted time to you?”
It did for me. When I got divorced in my mid 30’s – I thought I would be remarried fairly quickly. You see, I saw myself as a relationship-oriented, marriage minded person. I had serial boyfriends. I am not here to brag. I am to show you that some people LOVE to be in relationship. And some of us LOVE to be in LOVE! (Yes, that’s me!) We are the motivated ones. The problem is that I wasn’t always that discerning.
For instance, you are cute, and we have stuff in common and let’s see where this goes! 6 months later- I find out you don’t want children or you have mother issues and can’t let go of an old girlfriend, or you have an ex wife situation that is intolerable – I could go on and on! Well, this is called DATING!
What is dating really? It’s getting to know someone – the good, the bad and the crazy! And, I am sorry to say sometimes there are no short cuts. However, there is a way cut through a lot of stuff and to make better decisions for yourself. As I tell my clients- you need to adjust your dating radar as a marriage minded person. It’s a feedback loop and you keep adding the latest information from what didn’t work in your last relationship to make better decisions in picking your next relationship.
So how do you know that someone is a keeper? First, after you decide you are attracted to this person, you evaluate the person based upon shared core relationship values, similar life goals and knowing what you can live with and what you can’t. And you try to find this out sooner than later. You keep adjusting your dating radar– until you are spot on! That is what I do with my clients.
Let me share a story about Mary, who is a 40 something woman, who works in a busy consulting firm way too many hours. She came to me for coaching when she was 37 and seemed like a marriage minded person. Then, her job got out of control and she unfortunately, dropped out of coaching. She came back to me at 40 with one of my coaching programs and also decided to try coaching again. I got her online – and she got inundated with potential suitors. Through that process, I helped her manage the flow of candidates, and weed through possible suitors. She had met some nice men and for some reason, it never worked out. Finally she met Jerry, who was 49 and never married, as well. She saw potential in him and our coaching helped to get her into an exclusive relationship with Jerry, as well as work through the issues (or relationship snags- see my January blog post) she saw that could have ended this relationship. She clearly expressed her desire for marriage and a family and with him, and that time was an issue. They became engaged after 18 months together and married in the following 6 months when she was 43.
What I admire about Mary is that she didn’t give up. She followed the Motivated to Marry System and valued having my support and guidance to get her to the next step in the relationship process. She was willing to invest in this part of her life, as one would in a college or graduate education, a major trip to Europe or Asia or in regular weekly personal training!
So what is the number one trait that I see in my clients who do succeed in dating and finding his or her true love as a marriage minded person? It’s persistence! They don’t give up. They keep on working it and trying their best.
I made a list of my successful clients in the past couple of years – and there have been many. Most had tried relationships that didn’t work while we were coaching. When they realized that the person they were dating was either NOT MOTIVATED to MARRY, or not a good fit. Then they got back out there to date again fairly quickly to see who else was out there to meet. They were persistent and goal focused.
Have you been dating and not finding that right person? Do you stay in relationships way too long only to find out you don’t share the same life goals or core relationship values? Would some support and guidance be of value to you? If so, let’s talk and I can share how my Motivated to Marry Dating Secrets program has made the difference in my client’s dating life leading them to their true love partner. Go to www.TalkwithCoachAmy.com so I can get to know your needs and challenges with dating. Then we can schedule a time to connect for a Complimentary Meet Your Mate Strategy session if you qualify.
Intentionally Yours,
Coach Amy
P.S. In honor of Valentine’s Day, although the original 10 spots for my strategy sessions have been filled, I just opened up 5 more spots in February so we can get you energized and on your path to finding true love as a marriage minded person.
