The New Year is upon us. It’s time for a new beginning, turning over a new leaf, and for renewing our hope of finding love this year. Now is the time to think about how you want the coming year to be for you. You get to create what is possible for you. Here are some relationship questions and suggestions to get you thinking about what you want to attract into your life this year.
1. How would you envision your life to look like a year from now? What values and characteristics do you want your romantic partner to have?
Here I am asking you to close your eyes and see your life a year from now. If you see it, then you can work toward your vision. Once you have visualized what you want, it’s important to make it real by creating a picture of it or putting together a collage of what you want your life to look like and what qualities you want your romantic partner to embody.
For instance, when I was single, I made a picture (a very primitive one!) of a male and female stick figure dancing and skiing. This is my representation of what my boyfriend (eventual husband) and I would be doing. It turns out even though my husband didn’t really dance or ski, he was willing to learn! So my vision did turn into reality after all.
2. What are your dating or relationship goals for next year? (3 months/ 6 months/ 1 year)
Goals need to be written down to make them attainable. I suggest you post your goals at a place you see at least once a day. I post my goals on the bathroom mirror. For instance, an example of goals written down is “in 3 months time I will be dating someone steadily, lose 10 pounds and work as a volunteer once a month”. Some of my clients put their goals on their computer- or in their Blackberry.
3. What would support you in achieving your dating and relationship goals for next year?
For instance, would losing weight or having a makeover support you in feeling better about yourself so you would be more confident about going out and dating? Perhaps better time management would give you more time in your day to look for someone and for going out on dates. Taking up a new sport can put you in touch with new people to date. Last, by working with a coach or a therapist, you can get the support and encouragement you may need from an impartial person to take action.
4. What one or two things will you try that you haven’t yet tried in order to meet new people to date?
I recommend going to my website in the Resources page to see what singles groups are in the major cities that you may want to check out. Also, you can Google “singles groups” in your particular local. Find something that you haven’t tried before where you will feel comfortable. For instance, if you are not athletic, then I don’t recommend you going to a sports oriented group. You may feel awkward there. Also, see my article, “Where to Find Your Motivated to Marry® Partner” in my free page of my website to get more ideas on where to meet people for dating. Don’t forget to try online dating since one out of 5 marriages now come from online dating efforts.
To learn more go to www.successfulinternetdatingprogram.com.
5. Who can you enlist to help you in your search for a life partner?
There is a whole list of people who can help you: friends, family, co-workers, leaders at your synagogue or church. Also, there are matchmakers who can help people find their life partner for a hefty fee. It’s also a known fact that married women love to fix people up. So who can you approach about setting you up on a date?
Bonus relationship question: What will you commit to doing differently next year that you haven’t done this past year?
Do you need to change your attitude about dating from an uptight perspective to a more relaxed one? Are you willing to be more open and positive about dating? All this will make you more attractive to the opposite sex. Perhaps you need to learn how to weed through suitors better and more quickly. And, how is your rejection tolerance? Are you willing to face your fears head on and be fearless about meeting new people to date this year? Last, give someone a second chance or a second date. You may be pleasantly surprised what’s really there.
My hope is that these questions have pushed you to think outside your box about dating and to try out a new approach or new ways to meeting people. When you take yourself outside your comfort zone and stay true to yourself, you will attract the right person to you!
Have a happy and fulfilling New Year!
PS. Let me know if you want some help to get jumpstarted with dating this year. I can help you get on track and connecting with the right people. Book a half hour Get Love Right Strategy Session to discuss both personal and group coaching options for you in the New Year.