A mother, son, and her boyfriend going on a picnic in the park with their dog, utilizing the single-parent dating tips for a healthy relationship.

Dating Tips For The Seriously Searching Single-Parent

21 November 2024

If you’re a single parent, you’ve probably already discovered that dating again is a daunting task.

Whether you’re newly single or returning to the dating world after years, navigating this journey requires planning, honesty, and a clear understanding of your priorities. You can’t just wing it like you did before kids because your future isn’t the only one at stake anymore.

Many of my clients have been single parents and the following dating tips and strategies are taken right from their most popular questions. From setting the right expectations to introducing your children to a potential partner, these tips will help guide you as you look for love again.

1. Set Clear Intentions for Dating

The first tip for successful single-parent dating is knowing what you want. Are you looking for a casual relationship, or are you ready for a committed long-term partnership? Being honest with yourself and any potential partners is crucial.

Tip: Communicate your goals early on. Let your date know that, as a single parent, your time is limited and precious. It’s important to be upfront about your intentions to avoid misunderstandings later. Single parents who are motivated to marry often seek partners who share their values and long-term goals. Make this clear in your online dating profile and during initial conversations.

2. Timing Is Everything: Know When You’re Ready to Date

I know that being a single parent can be a scary situation, especially when you never planned to do it alone. However, the decision to start dating again should come after you’ve adjusted to life as a single parent. It’s essential to be emotionally ready, not only for your own sake but also for your children. Doing some deep work to understand yourself, the needs of your family, and what contributed to the break up of your marriage, will help to bolster your future dating efforts.

Ask yourself:  Are you healed from your past relationship? Do you understand why things didn’t work out? Do you have a strong support system for both you and your children? Are your children ready for you to start dating again or do you need to give them more time? If you’re still dealing with emotional baggage, it’s best to focus on self-care and creating a strong family foundation before re-entering the dating scene.

Tip: Before dating as a single-parent, take time to evaluate your own needs and ensure your children have adjusted to the new family dynamics. This way, when you do decide to date, you can approach it with confidence and clarity. Many single parents find that joining a relationship coaching group helps them build emotional readiness and confidence before diving into the dating pool.

3. Balancing Your Time: Juggling Kids and Dating

It’s hard enough to find time to date when you are single and have just you to take care of. Those who are single parents and divorced have a whole other set of issues. As a single parent to set aside time for dating takes focus and determination.

I have seen many divorced and widowed parents decide to wait until their kids go off to college before they are willing to put themselves out there to date and look for a serious relationship. They have to consider the demands of work and their kids first. I know several single moms by choice (with no ex-spouse) that are really time-starved! In most instances, there is no more to give beyond work and family.

However, there are those single parents who do make it a priority and have found love. One of my clients chose to look online for love since he could do it in the evenings when the kids were asleep. Then he could arrange to meet the women during his lunch hour or on his “off” weekend.

As a single-parent, what time have you set aside to go out and meet people to date? What are the big things you have to take into consideration to make time for dating and relationship building?

Tip: Create a schedule that allows for ‘me time,’ including time for dating. Work with your support network—friends, family, or a co-parent—to carve out time for yourself without compromising your time with your kids. Single parents who prioritize self-care and time management often have more positive dating experiences because they are less overwhelmed and can be more present during dates.

4. Choosing the Right Time to Introduce Your Date to Your Kids

One of the relationship questions that often comes up from my clients is when to meet the kids. There are many factors to consider:  the age of the child(ren), the length of time you are dating, the circumstances under which you met your partner, and whether this is a serious relationship or leading to a more committed arrangement.

Either way, introducing a new partner to your children is a significant milestone that should not be rushed. It’s important to wait until you are sure about the relationship’s potential before making any introductions. I remember when I was dating I did not want to meet a date’s child until I knew that our relationship was exclusive, monogamous, and moving in a direction of further commitment.

Something to consider is how well your children typically respond to change. It’s wise to have a conversation with them about your new relationship and give them time to adjust to the idea before meeting your partner.

Tip: Start with a casual, low-pressure introduction in a neutral setting. Let your kids know that your new friend is someone special, but avoid labeling them as a significant other too soon. The introduction should be gradual. Single parents who take their time with this step often report better outcomes, as it allows their children to adapt naturally and reduces potential stress.

5. Knowing Where to Meet Compatible, Kid-Friendly People

This is one of the single-parent dating tips questions that comes up a lot. If you have children and are a seriously searching single-parent, it’s important that the people you date someone are “kid friendly”. These are people who like being around children and see them as a blessing, not as an annoyance.

Finding the right environment to meet potential partners is key for single parents. Look for places and events where family-oriented individuals are likely to be, such as community activities, sports leagues, or singles groups designed for parents.

Tip: Consider joining singles events or groups that cater specifically to single parents. This way, you’re meeting people who understand your lifestyle and share similar values.  Looking online you’ll find both groups and dating sites that cater to single parents. Meetup.com is a good example of a social site that will likely have a single-parent group in your area. If not, consider starting one yourself!  There are even some online dating sites just for single parents.

6. Communicating Your Parenting Role

As a single parent, your children come first. It’s crucial to communicate this from the beginning of any new relationship. This doesn’t mean you can’t prioritize a romantic connection, but your potential partner needs to understand the importance of your role as a parent. And not just while you are dating and getting to know them. Your children will be your priority for life.

Successful single-parent dating often hinges on finding a partner who respects and supports your parenting responsibilities rather than competing with them. I love the way one of my clients said it: “The person I am dating has to accept me and love the entire package- children and all.”

Tip: Be honest about your priorities and discuss what family life looks like for you. This can help weed out individuals who aren’t willing to embrace the challenges and joys of dating (and potentially marrying) someone with kids.

Dating as a single parent can be both rewarding and challenging.

By being intentional, setting clear boundaries, and prioritizing your and your children’s needs, you can create a positive dating experience that aligns with your goals for a committed relationship. Remember, you deserve love and happiness, and with the right approach, you can find a partner who values and supports both you and your family life.

If you are looking for lasting love as a single parent, and need a little help navigating the waters, reach out. I’d love to help get you, and your family, on track.

P.S.  In the Motivated to Marry Dating Secrets coaching program, there is a helpful handout “Dating with Kids in the Picture” that shares the different perspectives that single parents and those without kids dating single parents have.  Check out the entire online coaching program at www.motivatedtomarrydatingsecrets.com.