Dating as a single person without children looking to date a single parent….

04 October 2008

A whole new world is opened up for the single person who doesn’t have kids once this person is introduced to the kids of the single parent you are dating. 

You have to have patience and be willing to put the needs of your partner’s kids before your own- many times.  You will be going to kids events and spending time with your partner’s kids in addition to your alone adult time. 

The child(ren) may accept you readily or you may have to deal with some resentment as if you are an intruder and taking this parent away from the child(ren).

The single parent may expect the partner to pitch in and help- with feeding time, cleaning up after the children, entertaining the children or other parent-like responsibilities.  The issue of discipline and how much say you have comes into play.  These are all relevant relationship questions needing resolution while you are dating.

The comments I hear from my clients who do not have children and are dating single parents are:

“I need to feel that I am special and that my partner is thinking of me.   I understand that most times the kids come first but I need to see that he is making the effort for us to have alone time.”

“I really like the idea of being a part of a child’s life since I doubt I will have children of my own at this age.” 

“I have to see that the woman I am dating has a good relationship with her ex and that the kids’ interest comes before their own.  Also, I need to feel accepted by the kids for me to stick around.”

“My biggest transition was having the kids around and knowing what to do with them.” 

The benefits of dating a single parent are being a part of a child’s life and building a bond that can last a lifetime while having a ready made family.  What I hear from my clients is that it is not easy, but if you hang in there for the long haul, you do become a part of the family and it can be very rewarding.   

Among other dating tips for men and women is to understand that the key to both sides feeling happy about the relationship, is being able to communicate each other’s needs and come up with a solution that works for both parties. 

Dating with children bring in a whole new dimension to your dating experiences.  It is definitely challenging at times, but from what I am told, the rewards most times greatly out weigh the downsides.