Woman looking at online dating app on her phone so she can get proactive about finding love.

How To Be Proactive About Finding Love?

26 September 2024

If you’re truly Motivated to Marry and looking for lasting love, waiting for the “right person” to magically appear isn’t an option. To find a meaningful relationship, especially after 40, you need to get proactive about finding love.

Those methods you relied on in your 20s, to meet and get to know someone, aren’t going to serve you as well today. But thankfully, there are more opportunities than ever to take control of your love life. By combining modern strategies with an open mind, you can put yourself on a path to success in your search for lasting love.

Here are five ways to embrace a proactive approach to finding love:

  1. Leverage Technology to Expand Your Reach

    Online dating is no longer just a last resort—it’s a key tool in your dating toolkit. Whether you’re returning to dating after a long time or you’ve been searching without success, it’s important to understand how dating apps and sites specifically designed for people seeking long-term relationships can help you.

    A few years back, I had a meeting with a successful 50-something woman who had regrets about not prioritizing love and family.  Single, successful, and very attractive, you would think it would be easy for her to find love. Yet she seemed to have a negative view of meeting someone she could fall in love with. “It’s so hard to meet quality men in DC”, she expressed. She had expressly avoided online dating and as a result of trying traditional methods, she developed a scarcity perspective.

    Many of the most popular dating sites cater to singles over 40 who are serious about commitment. These sites have evolved with advanced algorithms and detailed profile systems that allow you to filter potential matches based on your core values, relationship goals, and lifestyle. By actively engaging on these platforms and approaching online dating with intentionality, you increase your chances of meeting like-minded people.  And if you’re still leery about how to go about using online dating sites, check out some of the over 30 articles I’ve written about the subject on my blog

    Most of my clients have met their life partners through online dating.  In fact, as I review my successful clients who are now in loving relationships/married, over two-thirds have met their mates through online dating- we’re talking in the hundreds!

  2. Join Relationship-Focused Groups

    One of the most effective ways to proactively pursue love is by surrounding yourself with others who share similar relationship goals. Joining a relationship coaching group or attending singles workshops offers an opportunity to learn from others, gain insights into your dating patterns, and build a supportive community.

    These groups offer more than just advice—they provide accountability and encouragement. You’ll find yourself learning how to navigate modern dating challenges, better understand your needs, and identify what you’re looking for in a partner. Group coaching offers a space to discuss dating frustrations and triumphs, hear new perspectives, and refine your approach in a safe and supportive environment.

    Participating in these kinds of groups shows a commitment to personal growth, while also opening doors to meeting others who are just as motivated as you to find lasting love.

  3. Expand Your Social Circle

    It’s tempting to rely on your existing social circles to find love, but if you’re not meeting new people regularly, you might miss opportunities. One way to be proactive is to actively work on expanding your social network. Consider joining hobby-based groups, volunteering, or attending events where you’ll encounter new people naturally. Meetup Groups are a great way to get started!

    If you’re drawn to activities that align with your values—like book clubs, art classes, or hiking groups—you’ll be able to connect with individuals who share your interests and passions. Expanding your social circle also takes the pressure off because you’re not necessarily attending these events solely to find a partner. You can relax, be yourself, and let authentic connections grow naturally.

    Additionally, taking part in local community events or volunteering provides a sense of purpose while offering new opportunities to engage with others who care about the same causes you do. In doing so, you’re positioning yourself to meet people who may not be in your immediate social network but share similar values and lifestyles, laying the groundwork for meaningful connections.

  4. Work on Self-Improvement

    A key element of being proactive in finding love is working on yourself. Self-improvement isn’t just about getting ready for a relationship; it’s about becoming the best version of yourself for you. This process involves recognizing patterns from your past, understanding your emotional needs, and developing qualities that will contribute to a healthy relationship.

    Whether through coaching, therapy, or self-reflection, dedicating time to self-growth helps you enter the dating world with more clarity and confidence. When my clients come to coaching we work on better understanding their internal saboteurs, clarifying their values and vision, looking at patterns that haven’t worked, and identifying areas of personal growth.

    Skipping this step is a critical mistake I see many people make. Without doing the internal work, it is difficult to recognize a good match when it appears and instead, they make the same relationship mistakes again and again.

    In this proactive journey to find love, understanding your self-worth is key. When you feel complete as an individual, you won’t rely on a relationship to “fix” anything in your life. Instead, you’ll be more focused on finding a partner who complements and enhances your happiness.

  5. Create a Clear Vision of What You Want

    It’s impossible to be proactive about finding love if you don’t know what you’re looking for. Do you have a vision for the kind of relationship you are looking for?

    Take the time to get clear on what kind of relationship you desire and what qualities you need in a partner. This isn’t about creating a rigid checklist but understanding your non-negotiables, values, and long-term goals.

    This also includes clearly communicating your intentions when dating. Whether it’s on your dating profiles or when meeting people, be open about your desire for a long-term, committed relationship from the beginning. Don’t be afraid to have serious dating conversations early. This approach saves you time and helps weed out those who aren’t on the same page.  Someone who is also serious about finding lasting love won’t be scared off by your honesty.

Being proactive about finding love isn’t about pushing or forcing things to happen. It’s about taking meaningful action to create opportunities.

From embracing technology to working on yourself, each of these strategies is designed to help you find a lasting, committed relationship.

The modern dating landscape can seem overwhelming, especially if you’ve been out of the game for a while but taking a proactive love approach puts you in the driver’s seat. You can shape your dating experience, surround yourself with supportive communities, and clarify what you want, ensuring that when love does come, you’ll be ready to embrace it fully.

Whether it’s through online platforms, social networks, or personal growth, every step you take is a move toward the lasting love you deserve.

Take my FREE “Are You Ready to Meet Your Mate?” Quiz and discover if now is your time! Go to: http://motivated2marry.wufoo.com/forms/are-you-ready-to-meet-your-life-partner/ today!