Who is offering their dating advice to you — a 23 year old staff writer at a newspaper? Or how about a twenty –something guy who can successfully pick up women? How about a 30 year old woman who thinks she successfully met her match online and is not even engaged? What about a gay 30 year old guy who is giving women advice on how to meet men? Where do these so called dating coaches come from? And, what is their training and coaching experience? You really need to know!

On the other side of the spectrum from a dating coach there is the therapist who has been in private practice for over 20 years and is really clueless about internet dating and the modern ways people are meeting for dating. I had a conversation with a very accomplished therapist and she didn’t even know what a Meetup group was!

I did some background checking on the other dating coaches mentioned in the Washington Post Article with me and I was the only certified professional coach in the bunch. The other people just put their shingle out with little or no training. Most were under 30 years old. In addition, for many being a dating coach was a part time job.

Matchmakers can provide an important function of actually providing a pool of qualified candidates. However, to get certified they go to for a 3 day weekend class or buy a business in a box. They do not take any exams nor have any supervisions of their coaching to test their knowledge. There is the Matchmaking Institute that lists minimum requirements and a code of ethics for their members to abide by. Most matchmakers are selling coaching (really advising) services to supplement their matchmaking services.

Anyone can call themselves a “dating coach”. Next time ask them about their training. Are they certified from an accredited professional coaching school? You can go to the International Coach Federation website and find out if their training is from an accredited professional coaching school. Professional coaches are trained not to just give advice, and to also follow a line of questioning to help their clients decide their priorities and clarify what is truly meaningful to them. It is important to lead from a clients own motivations rather than the coach’s agenda. This is where real change occurs.

When I decided to follow my passion to help people who struggle with dating, I chose to invest in myself and get trained and certified as a professional coach. Then I had additional relationship coach training that augmented my certification. I felt it was important to obtain the best tools and skills possible. Truly I did not want to “mess” with people’s lives. I take my work seriously and found my training to be invaluable to my clients.

I look at their whole life and how dating fits in with their life. Many of my clients have other roadblocks like a demanding job or family responsibilities that get in the way of dating and finding their life partner. As a professional life coach, I take into account their values and life goals. And once a client is in a relationship, I can assist them as they progress to the next level of commitment. How do you sustain a relationship? That is the real challenge! Most people don’t have the basic skills to build a relationship.

Yes, there are many attractive, bright, savvy people who are calling themselves a dating coach these days. If you want to find a dating professional to help you focus on your goal to meet that someone special, I recommend you do your homework and find out about their training and experience, as well as their track record. What are their life experiences? As in hiring any professional, you need to do your due diligence!

Warm Wishes,

Coach Amy

PS. If you are interested in having an exploratory conversation with me about how you can jumpstart your dating activities to find that special person in the New Year fill out my Contact Coach Amy form at http://www.heartmindconnection.com. Currently, I have two personal coaching slot openings for this January.

Last Monday I gave my teleclass to a very active and interactive group of singles – it was the Brianiac Meetup group in the New York area.  The organizer, Lawrence Chernin, is very open minded and desires his community to get all the tools they need to succeed in love!

These were some of the comments from his members:

“Everything was presented clearly and in an upbeat big picture way with enough examples to clarify the notions for anyone who was new to the concept being discussed. Well worth the time for anyone serious about seeking wisdom for something we are not “schooled” in.” Regis D

“I enjoyed the give-and-take. I also think Amy gave some good advice, in terms of the need for people to make it their priority to find someone if that is their goal and to do what we enjoy. Thank you, Lawrence, for arranging this for our benefit. I was glad to participate” Ilene S

You can still sign up to hear the same teleclass for this coming Monday evening (1/3) at 9 pm EST.   My hope is that this dating coach can make the difference in your dating life!

Also, Lawrence has a robust dating site: www.brainiacdating.com I suggest you check it out.

All the best for a Happy and Loving New Year!

Intentionally yours,

Coach Amy

PS.  If you really want to focus on Getting Love Right this year, then join my upcoming Get Love Right telecoaching group (www.GetLoveRight.com) starting February 22nd.  There are only 6 slots available for this group where you will get individual attention and support from like-minded individuals.  I also review your internet dating profile (or get you online!).  Join before the 1/5/11, and save 30% and get an additional personal coaching session.  Lets get started today!

Most people, when trying to achieve a goal such as losing weight or finding a new job, find that they are more successful when they have the support of someone they trust: a friend or a family (or a coach or counselor).  This person keeps us accountable for staying on track and cheers us on as we work toward our aspirations.  We also feel compelled to report back our progress to him or her in order to maintain the momentum staying on track for reaching our goal.  The same can be applied to your dating plan with the result of finding your true romantic relationship.  My critical dating tip is to enlist the help of an accountability partner to help you succeed with achieving this goal.

We all do better and stick to our goals when we have to answer to someone other than ourselves.  I do this with my clients – if they say they are going to do something, I hold them to it! My dating advice for them is the same as my dating advice for all of you: follow through on the dating plans you commit to yourself! Whether it be a friend, a family member or a life coach, having an accountability partner will help you stay focused on your dating goal of finding the one. He or she will be there to support you when dating is frustrating to you.  This is one of my top dating tips –that you enlist the help of this person by telling them your goals and work out the details on how that person can help you stay focused and how you want to be accountable to him or her.

You will surely see results when you do have someone in your corner supporting you!

Intentionally yours,
Coach Amy

PS. Talking about having accountability……  I can help you have better success with your online dating approach.  I am with you every step of the way.  I give you my results oriented step by step methodology to attract the right one via the internet.  You can still get on board although my 6 week Fall Internet Dating Success Coaching Program just started last Thursday (10/28) at 9 pm EST.  For details go to www.attractqualitypeopletodateonline.com.  As an added bonus, you will also get a personal half hour phone consult with me on your internet dating strategy.  All calls are recorded if you can’t be on that week’s call so it is easy to catch up if you sign up today!

In my last blog post I discussed on reason that someone may not be making time for a relationship-that they are activity driven and plan too many events and activities that don’t put themselves in the right place to meet the opposite sex.   What is another reason people are too busy to date?

Another major reason that people are too busy to put time and attention into finding a relationship and cultivating it is that work takes up too much of their life.  This can be true if you work for a company and especially if you are self-employed or have your own business.  Entrepreneurs are guilty of working around the clock (Me included- ask my husband)!  

I joke that I help entrepreneurs “get a life”!   However, I have worked with many single professionals who jobs require that they travel and demand long hours, as well.   This makes finding the time to have that first date and the subsequent dates very difficult. I had one late 30’s female client who traveled so much that what came up in the coaching was if she would consider changing companies or even careers to support her overall life goals of having a family.  

In my book, “Get It Right This Time- How to Find and Keep Your Ideal Romantic Relationship” (www.getitrightthistime.com) I have a chapter on “How to Date Like an Entrepreneur”.  The tips for dating in this chapter can work for professionals who work for companies or non-profits, (and the government- as I live in the DC area) as well as those who are self employed.  

My advice for dating is when you are taking a vacation, to consider traveling with singles or where there are singles instead of traveling with your Aunt Jane!   Others tips for dating are about time management and making the most of every opportunity (networking events and conferences are great places to meet a life partner!).  

Take a look at your life priorities.  If finding a mate rates in your top three goals this year, then are you making the time to support this goal?  What kind of rebalancing of your life may need to take place?   If you need some assistance, as a life relationship coach I am here to help facilitate any change that would support your life goals!   (You can read my client testimonials that have successfully attained their life goals at: www.heartmindconnection.com).

This inquiring relationship coach wants to know your answers to these questions and any comments you may have on this subject. (Click comment link at the end of this blog post)

Your relationship coach,

Amy

P.S.  Do you have relationship questions you need answers to?  Join my fall 2009 tele-coaching group to help move your forward towards your goal of meeting a partner for a committed love relationship with the support of other singles, as well.  For more information visit www.GetLoveRight.com.  Save $300 by signing up by the end of August and get an additional one-on-one coaching session with me, as well (4 in total)! Limited to six participants.

P.S.S.  Get your relationship questions answered!  Subscribe to my email notifications for helpful tips and advice for dating and relationships to move you forward towards your goal of meeting a partner for a committed serious relationship or to enhance your existing love relationships at www.heartmindconnection.com .  Sign up for my next tele-gathering at www.heartmindconnection.com/telegatherings.html .   Also, you can download a free chapter of relationship advice for dating from my book, Get It Right This Time-How to Find and Keep Your Ideal Romantic Relationship at www.GetItRightThisTime.com.