Fall is upon us, which means that the Holidays are just around the corner.  For those who are single, it can be a lonely time of year.  But it doesn’t have to be!  A tip for dating is to take the time to put a dating plan into action so that you can be successful in your quest for love.

Many of you are probably groaning to yourselves as you read this and thinking, “A dating plan?  That sounds like work!” And thus, we come to the intial phase of your dating plan, which is to decide:

1. How do I want to be perceived?
Do you want to appear confident and happy or desperate and bitter? Do you dread outlining a dating plan or do you look forward to working toward your goal?  My next tip for dating is that your attitude regarding dating and relationships WILL come across to potential suitors.  Stay positive!  You are doing this because you are choosing to make one aspect of your life better.

Another tip for dating is:

2. Start with your goals in mind.
My last tip for dating here is to start your plan at the end by determining your goal. Once you determine where you want to end up, you’ll have a much easier time figuring out how to get there. By determining the end point of your dating plan, you’ll be able to clearly and effectively outline your roadmap to love.

3. STICK WITH IT!
I often tell my clients that the dating game – when the ultimate goal is a life partner, lifelong relationship or marriage – is a marathon.  We’re not running sprints here -keep at your plan and don’t give up!  Tweak things a bit. Figure out what works and what doesn’t. And stick with it!

Intentionally,
Coach Amy

PS.  Speaking of DATING PLANS…. I am starting my 6 week Internet Dating Success Coaching Program this Thursday night.  You will create a plan and take you through the steps to either get you dating online or improve your success rate of dating online.  Go to www.attractqualitypeopletodateonline.com for details.

One of the relationship questions that my clients often ask is about first date expectations.  Who pays? What is my date expecting? Where should I take him or her? Is it okay to do a low cost activity? One of the rules of dating is that there is no universal answer; the best way to know your date’s expectations is to be open and honest via communication and ask him or her!

I remember the anxiety I felt when I would first start dating someone.  I always felt more at ease when the man I was dating was direct and would express his feelings and thoughts on the subject.  And he would ask me for my thoughts and feelings, as well.  To ask your relationship questions, rather than assuming, it is best to learn a person’s expectations by asking them – straight out especially early on when you are unaware of one another’s intentions.

Asking your partner about their dating expectations is especially important since it paves the way for open communication in the relationship.

This inquiring relationship coach wants to know about your first date expectations and any other relationship questions you have.  What do you expect from your partner in the very early dating days?  Click on the comment link at the end of this blog post with your answers and any comments you may have on this subject. Let’s get the conversation going!

Your relationship coach,

Amy

P.S.  Get all your relationship questions answered!  Subscribe to my emails to get helpful dating and relationship advice and tips to move you forward towards your goal of meeting a partner for a committed serious relationship or to enhance your existing love relationships at http://www.heartmindconnection.com .  You can sign up for my next monthly tele-gathering there.   Also, you can download a free chapter of relationship advice from my book, “Get It Right This Time-How to Find and Keep Your Ideal Romantic Relationship” at http//:www.GetItRightThisTime.com.

One of the many services I offer to my clients is a monthly telegathering.  During one of these recent calls, we discussed money and dating and, more specifically, how income levels affect dating practices.

Money is a big determinant in the kinds of things you can do on a date.  Someone with a solid income will probably be more willing and able to spend a greater amount of money than someone who is trying to get on solid financial footing.

And so, one of my tips for dating is to do your planning! If you are paying for the date, know what you can comfortably afford to spend on a date and plan accordingly.  It is okay if you don’t have a lot to spend:  there are many affordable options out there!  Consider playing miniature golf, attending a free outdoor concert, visiting your botanical gardens, taking a leisurely walk in a park or a rowing a boat for romantic date!  Don’t forget to bring the wine!

Another tip for dating is to be sure to consider your date and his or her financial situation.  If they struggle to make ends meet, will they be comfortable with a large, over-the-top date?  Or will they be more comfortable at a free concert with a picnic? One of my clients met a woman he really liked and he very much wanted to impress her.  So, he took her out to a very nice dinner and a show.  He spared no expense and that can be overwhelming.  I think his strategy backfired on him a lot because he did not consider his date and her comfort level. This varies from person to person, which is why my tips for dating include that both people needs to be involved with the date planning.

When planning a date, you can suggest two or three possible activities and ask your date which one she is most interested in.   She will surely appreciate you asking for her input and the leg work you have done!

Have fun planning your budget conscious date!

Intentionally yours,
Coach Amy

PS. For other great budget date ideas be sure to check out http://www.dcdatinginfo.com (for those who live in the DC area) and http://heartmindconnection.com/Resources.html

During a recent telegathering I discussed first date tips for men and women.  The one relationship question that everyone wanted answered is: Who should pay for the first date?

The traditional rules of dating dictated that the man paid for everything.  Women didn’t need to bring any money – since she wasn’t expected to have a career, she wasn’t expected to pay. Society has changed since the 50’s and 60’s and the majority of women have careers and their own income.  Therefore, the dating rules have also changed.

My dating tips for men and women for first dates departs from traditional standards. If the first date is the result of an online setup (i.e., you’ve exchanged emails, chatted via an online message application and talked on the phone), then each person would plan to pay for his and her own tab.  The same would apply in a situation where you are set up by a mutual friend, but have never met prior to the first date. One of my clients on the call said that she appreciates if a man offers to pay on a first date and he may do so, but this should never be expected.

But who pays if the date is a result of an initial meeting? Who is responsible for the bill if the pair met at a social function and is now venturing out in a dating capacity?  You may be thinking the guy should pay.  And you may be right … only if the man asked the woman on the date.  However, one of my dating tips for men and women is that if you ask, you pay.  I believe that a general rule for the first date is that the person who asks for the dates should pay for the bill.

For a list of dating ideas of where to take a date in the DC area, please visit http://www.dcdatinginfo.com/takeadate/ as well as to sign up for my weekly Dating Tips for men and women.

I hope you’ll join me for the next telegathering, which will take place on 8/16 at 9 pm EST on the telephone.  We will be discussing How to Find Love Now that the Summer is Over!

Intentionally Yours,
Coach Amy

PS. My SUMMER SALE of 35% Off my Entire Dating Success Package Program will expire on midnight of Monday, 8/16. Don’t miss this great opportunity to learn how to date with more success and with greater confidence.  Read details at www.getloveright.com/datingpackage.html.

As part of your total dating strategy, I urge my clients to try online dating as a way to find quality people to date.  There is a whole slew of reasons to be online, one of which that just the shear numbers of singles who are participating and the convenience that it offers.

I spoke to one of my young mom friend’s husband (about 30 years old) and they met online.  Both were attractive people with good jobs.  You wondered why they felt the need to go online to meet a mate.  The young man said, “I knew what I was looking for and I didn’t want to waste my time”.

You can be targeted in your approach with online dating.  Many of my clients have met their spouses and life partners with this approach.  So when there are hundreds of online dating sites, which ones do you choose?

Given the numbers, I usually recommend Match and/or Chemistry.   For my Jewish clients I recommend JDate.  eHarmony is great for those who really want to use in depth, detailed structured site.   Each online dating site offers different strategies and approaches – so you have to decide which one works best for your personality.

Match is one of the top dating sites by number-for those that you pay for.  I  believe a serious person will pay to be on an online dating site.  It shows that they are willing to put some investment towards the endeavor.  I am wary of free sites, although I do know people who met their partner on those sites.

This is also probably the most well know of all the online dating sites – given their marketing power.  It’s the one Dr. Phil has endorsed (and been paid handsomely for his efforts).   You have the whole world here.  You get to contact whoever seems to interest you.    It’s up to you to read the profiles and to judge the picture.  On these sites, the picture plays a major role to attracting interested parties.   It’s your job to weed out the undesirable suitors.

For Chemistry you need to fill out their dating questionnaire that puts you into 4 different personality categories.  This takes a little more time to fill out and get up and running.  You also have some questions and essays to fill out.   Then you get 5 matches a day based upon your personality type.

So on Chemistry you have a smaller universe from which to choose from.  Many people say this is less overwhelming.  You have to move forward or decline people’s profile in order to get new matches at a certain point.

Then you have to answer and ask certain prescribed questions before you get to the time you can communicate by email freely with that person.   Some people prefer this structured way to communicate to ensure a certain level of interest and information is passed among the couple.

Some people find the process tedious and more time consuming.  So what do you do?   One of my clients is on both Chemistry and Match although I don’t recommend doing this.  I do recommend trying one for at least 3 months and see whom you attract.  If you are not satisfied, then try the other site.

I don’t recommend the “free weekends” many sites offer.  That’s just a tease and you get some matches, and you are really not invested in the process.  And you are really not making yourself available to date.  I recommend with any of these online dating sites, you commit to at least 3 months.  If then, you are not satisfied, then, move to another one.

It would be great if you meet your true love from online dating like so many have.  However, you may not.  If you meet some interesting people who may turn out to be friends, then perhaps you will feel the time you spent online was well worth it!

Warmly,

Coach Amy

P.S.  If you would like to have better success attracting the right people with your internet dating profile consider Coach Amy’s Internet Dating Profile Review Service or joining Coach Amy’s Get Love Right summer tele-coaching group at www.GetLoveRight.com.